I’ve spent my entire life trying to be beautiful
I tried wearing tighter clothing and shorter shorts
I tried wearing make-up and changing my hair color
I tried ******* in my stomach and eating less
I’ve tried all of these things and none seemed to work
It seems that no matter what I try I’m never pretty enough

I find myself growing colder with each passing day
Slowly learning to hate every single inch of myself
Carving the word fat into my skin and hate into my heart
I see ugly in the mirror and sadness in my eyes
Constantly speaking in a mixture of fibs and lies
Despising myself more than anyone else ever could
You may wonder what all started this mess
The answer is a case of terminal loneliness
Being alone definitely caused my demise
Here everybody, my death will be your prize

I wake up, it is 8 in the morning
I open my eyes for a brief moment
For I know I will fall back asleep
But in the minutes I spend neither awake nor asleep
I dream, I dream of monsters and demons
I wish they were happier
Like us together, hearts beating in harmony
Smiles would be shared like words
but instead I dream of monsters
They became a part of me
I am a monster, I have you fooled, you see?

I am alone far more often than I would like to
And I cry far less often than I need to
I find crying to be weak, but not crying is causing me to go crazy
I don't think crazy is better than crying
But the tears refuse to show because I've held them for so long
I forced myself into insanity, babe, I'm insane
These words won't stop flowing out of my mouth
I'm insane..I'm insane, will you love me? I'm insane.
The tears flooded my eyes, who could ever love someone as insane as me

I'm dying from a lack of human interaction
No one seems to want to be around me anymore
I'm not quite sure as to why
But it feels worse than anything I've ever felt before
Almost like a stabbing pain in the heart
I don't seem to matter to anyone anymore
I'm like a speck of dust, invisible and unimportant
I swear this loneliness might **** me

will you love me as my hair turns grey
will you love me as my skin starts to wrinkle
I don't think you will, I think you'll look for someone younger
someone with shiny blonde hair and smooth skin
someone who wants kids, because I never did
you wanted to be a father and, well, I wanted to travel
I thought we could make it work... we couldn't
so now I sit here, my body decaying
everyday I look more and more like a skeleton
my body rots away and my mind slowly follows
I'm lonely and unloved, just like I thought would happen
I began collecting kittens like they were paintings
threw away people like they were garbage
I know no words, I speak only in meows and purrs
I lost the ability to be human when I lost you

I remember all of the nice things that you said
Complimenting me, hacking into my head
Soon you controlled everything that I did
Whenever I saw you my courage, it hid
Around you I was weak, fragile, and fearsome
I despised who you had helped me become
I fell in love with your viscous little game
I can almost promise I'll never be the same
"I want to be your boyfriend" "Babe you're the best"
With lines like that what girl wouldn't be impressed
All of your broken promises, and your silly little lies
They're all some of the things that I came to despise
I'm done with you, I'm kicking you out
Quit lurking in my brain, sneaking about
Give me back my heart, and all the tiny pieces
As of now my love for you ceases

She sits silently staring up at the sky.
As she’s looking the sky starts to cry.
She’s glad to see the rain,
It always takes away her pain.
She knows that it can’t rain forever.
The sun and the sky will again get together.
She’d rather it rain than have the sun brightly shine.
If it could rain forever she would be fine.
She watches people run into their house,
They scurry away like a baby mouse.
They don’t understand the gift of a storm,
Sitting there feeling nice and warm.
She wishes others wouldn’t think she’s insane,
Only because the rain heals her pain.
When the sun shines upon her face
There’s another scar she can’t erase.
It’s not that the sun causes her distress,
The sun just doesn’t know how to fix this mess.
One day of rain beats one hundred of sun,
To a place of constant rain she wants to run.

She sits there, tears streaming out of her eyes.
Her dad and her sister fighting, screaming out lies.
Her dad leaves the room, and falls down the stairs,
The sound was as loud as many roaring bears.
She follows after him,
The lights were so dim.
She searches for him in his room,
She sees him choking, she senses doom.
She speeds back up stairs.
She tells her sister and she just glares.
Her sister is mad but she still goes to see,
She sits him up, letting him breathe.
They call their family and tell them to come.
When family arrives they call 911.
The ambulance finally gets there,
She’s thinking that this just isn’t fair.
She wants him to be better,
To stop feeling like his debtor.
She owes him nothing,
He owes her her childhood, that’s not something he can bring.
She’ll never be the same, he thinks it’s a game.

From scissors,
                 To razors,
                            To Knives,

They slit their wrists,

Loosing touch of their lives.

They cry tears no one will ever see,

Their pain is invisible so no one will believe.

They’re sitting alone so they must be un-cool,

They see people staring and feel like a fool.

Others see their scars and now they’re a *****,

The whole world is salt
                                    But they
                                              Are pepper.

Muffled whispers,
                          Evil looks,

Sitting in class hiding behind their books.

They dream so magically
                                      But hope to never wake up.

The answer to “Are you okay?” is always “yup.”

They’re strong
                         They can’t cry.

They’re strong
                         They smile and lie.

And when people pass judgments they should push them aside;

They shouldn’t have to worry,
                                            They shouldn’t have to hide

Every word that you say could be another scar on their wrist,

And one day you’ll realize it’s their smile that you miss.