I’ve spent my entire life trying to be beautiful
I tried wearing tighter clothing and shorter shorts
I tried wearing make-up and changing my hair color
I tried ******* in my stomach and eating less
I’ve tried all of these things and none seemed to work
It seems that no matter what I try I’m never pretty enough

I find myself growing colder with each passing day
Slowly learning to hate every single inch of myself
Carving the word fat into my skin and hate into my heart
I see ugly in the mirror and sadness in my eyes
Constantly speaking in a mixture of fibs and lies
Despising myself more than anyone else ever could
You may wonder what all started this mess
The answer is a case of terminal loneliness
Being alone definitely caused my demise
Here everybody, my death will be your prize

I wake up, it is 8 in the morning
I open my eyes for a brief moment
For I know I will fall back asleep
But in the minutes I spend neither awake nor asleep
I dream, I dream of monsters and demons
I wish they were happier
Like us together, hearts beating in harmony
Smiles would be shared like words
but instead I dream of monsters
They became a part of me
I am a monster, I have you fooled, you see?

I am alone far more often than I would like to
And I cry far less often than I need to
I find crying to be weak, but not crying is causing me to go crazy
I don't think crazy is better than crying
But the tears refuse to show because I've held them for so long
I forced myself into insanity, babe, I'm insane
These words won't stop flowing out of my mouth
I'm insane..I'm insane, will you love me? I'm insane.
The tears flooded my eyes, who could ever love someone as insane as me

I'm dying from a lack of human interaction
No one seems to want to be around me anymore
I'm not quite sure as to why
But it feels worse than anything I've ever felt before
Almost like a stabbing pain in the heart
I don't seem to matter to anyone anymore
I'm like a speck of dust, invisible and unimportant
I swear this loneliness might **** me

will you love me as my hair turns grey
will you love me as my skin starts to wrinkle
I don't think you will, I think you'll look for someone younger
someone with shiny blonde hair and smooth skin
someone who wants kids, because I never did
you wanted to be a father and, well, I wanted to travel
I thought we could make it work... we couldn't
so now I sit here, my body decaying
everyday I look more and more like a skeleton
my body rots away and my mind slowly follows
I'm lonely and unloved, just like I thought would happen
I began collecting kittens like they were paintings
threw away people like they were garbage
I know no words, I speak only in meows and purrs
I lost the ability to be human when I lost you

I remember all of the nice things that you said
Complimenting me, hacking into my head
Soon you controlled everything that I did
Whenever I saw you my courage, it hid
Around you I was weak, fragile, and fearsome
I despised who you had helped me become
I fell in love with your viscous little game
I can almost promise I'll never be the same
"I want to be your boyfriend" "Babe you're the best"
With lines like that what girl wouldn't be impressed
All of your broken promises, and your silly little lies
They're all some of the things that I came to despise
I'm done with you, I'm kicking you out
Quit lurking in my brain, sneaking about
Give me back my heart, and all the tiny pieces
As of now my love for you ceases