It's ludacris really
How I didn't realize how I felt
When I tried to remember the color of
His eyes-
I came up blanker
Than the sheet
That I have tried to drape
Ever so dearly over the memory
Of the gold flecks in your eyes
Dimming only to say goodbye.

Life
Is merely a dream,
A well thought out scheme
Of Someone who's blood
Can redeem.
The sun sets on this board game,
Simply, pieces in a monopoly
That frees us from darkness overcame.

I try to keep you out of mind,
Free these thoughts that bind
Me to your gravity
Though I was there to watch you leave.

I start floating to greater good,
But I'd still have you if I could .
With helium, I fill my head.
You sink me down with bones of lead.

Draped in finest apology,
Like pearls you once gave to me.
Stop this feigned sincerity.
The silver leaving collars green.

I can't remember the series of events.
She said my mind will jumble up those years,
Leave the building blocks,
Simple ideas of what happened.

No part of me wants to talk about darkness.
If I pull one piece of the puzzle from this tower,
Everything will come crumbling to the ground.

So I couldn't honestly tell you of what I know;
I can tell you the feelings that suppressed the control I so craved.

Maybe I don't want you,
But your happiness.
It fills me to the brim.
Seeing you smile
Even without me,
That's enough to quench this desire.

Maybe I'll stop feeling
The electricity
Every time your eyes light up,
Glowing orbs,
Pleasuring the air without intention.

Maybe I'll find someone
Who doesn't
Remind me of you.