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Aarya Feb 2014
I really wish
Someone would tell me
how to feel right now
Aarya Feb 2014
I am flesh and bone
No blood in between
I am a blade of grass
So delicate and green
I am indescribable
As the water
I am the sun
Every minute, burning hotter
I am as dead as stone
Gray and lame
I am so alive
Rich red blood
Coursing through my veins
I am cold like the snow
Icy, and frozen
Yet I am melting
Mellow in motion
I am so strong
Try and break down my walls
It is built thick
And ensured to never fall
I am so weak
My barriers are cracking
I can't hold it any longer
My fortress is tumbling
My soul is dry
Like the page of a book
I am an artist
Always misunderstood
Aarya Feb 2014
I just realized
that you are a *****.
Aarya Jan 2014
What does it mean?
To live
To exist
To feel the solidness
Of this breath

The firmness
The rhythm
The pureness of air
Things you regret

To many people
It is only air
going in
going out

A cycle to keep living
From the nose
Or the mouth

But what most of us
Do not know
It is more than just a breath

It is forever going
When we don't realize its there

It is not only a symbol of life
But there's another meaning

Within each breath
Lies simplicity
It will never be ridden

This was overlooked
And for now
It is just a breath

going in
going out
Even when you rest

Scientific knowledge
That is all people see
As long as we have breath
What more could we need

But tell me
What does it really mean
To live
To exist
To touch
To feel
To smell
To taste
To hear
Tell me
What more is real
Wrote this in middle school.
Aarya Jan 2014
you are first
because we had a great friendship
but i should have realized
that wasn't something
you cared enough about to preserve

you really are ****** up
but i know that you would have laughed if i told you that
like you do to everything
i've never been so sad until i saw your scarred arms
but i wish you would realize
how amazing you are

our hallway hugs
are meaningless
but i still care about you

i remember how scared i was at the time
at the thought of losing you
but no matter how much you lied
it was worth it

i guess we never really were friends
no matter how hard i tried
but thanks for the memories

sixth grade was good
so was seventh
but from then on
things really just weren't the same

im still waiting for you to apologize
and perhaps sometime
we can talk again

i still remember you
from elementary school
i don't know where you are anymore
but i will never forget your name

you once told me
to come to your house
in san francisco
you pointed your hands above your head
and said it had a pink roof

i still call you my best friend
only because its been so long
but who knows what really is going on
Aarya Jan 2014
My heart burns like a simple fire
It's flames roaring in my chest
It is like a sin, to make me feel guilt
Blazing with so many secrets to confess

My heart burns like a simple fire
Entwined of sorrow, anger, shame
Emotions coiled in its wrath
Built up in its flames

My heart burns like a simple fire
But it is like a curse, I tell you, a curse
Everytime, it's flames grow larger
It burns me up to be immersed

My heart burns like a simple fire
I constantly hear its crackling
Everytime the little flames twist and turn
Like something in me is cackling

I am the girl who carries a fire within her
A curse, I tell you, a curse
But I have sinned so many times
I can tell, any moment it is going to
Leap right out of my chest
And burst
Aarya Jan 2014
I always wondered what it felt like.
Not being able to breathe
Just silently sinking down
And then it ends, and it’s a relief.

I’ve always managed to float.
Or at least keep my head above the surface
And there were those times when I would almost let go and fall in
But I thought everybody has a purpose.

Now I know how it feels
And I wish I didn’t know
Because I feel like I’m drowning
But I can see everyone around me breathing

I don’t know if it’s worth the fight
When you’re slowly sinking into the deep
And you know if you let yourself fall any more
You can’t get out, but it would all end and be a relief.

And then there’s that moment
When you suddenly change your mind.
I don’t want this to happen to me, I want to get better.
By then you’re almost of time.

So you start thrashing around, struggling.
I can resurface, I can.
And you fight against the force of the water
That’s when the struggle began.

I want to know how to breathe again.
I’ve been in the deep so long.
I want to feel the same like I used to be
I don’t want to have to be strong.

So you start lashing out, in the water.
Whipping, and beating, and squirming.
I’m so close. So close.
I can fulfill that yearning.

Do you know what it’s like?
To almost be there, just a nose away.
It’s like I can breathe. I can breathe again.
But then it’s dark all over
And I realize I’m back in the deep.
Too deep. Too dark to see.

I can just catch a glimpse of the sun’s rays.
Before I’m pulled back into the abyss.
I might never see the light again, I have to stay here forever.
I’ll just wait though, I can wait.
                                                                                                                                  It will be worth the endeavor.
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