Its funny how the past reminds us of what’s to come.
And its strange how one look into her eyes and the feelings that plagued my bones come rushing back.
The same feelings I drained bottle after bottle to escape, pleading with fate to look the other way as I refused to enter the door it moved heaven and earth to open.
All the time spent in silent pursuit comes flooding back.
The hours when sleep abandoned me for fear I’d go on dreaming.
For a moment, just a moment, I close my eyes, and I remembered what it felt like to make you laugh.
Followed closely by that sinking feeling, the one that fooled me into believing we were meant to be.
In that moment I realised time hadn’t healed anything; it only led me to believe I’d left well enough alone.
Beneath the defence of “I’ve moved on” lay a boy still frightened at the thought of trusting his heart.
Just know it’s not that I never love you my dear; it was I was too scared, Too scared to tell you how I felt and just how much I cared.