My darling I apologize for any inconvenience
But every thought must be analyzed before accumulation
And still every word must be spoken with caution

I have recognized the burden
And I have realized my overreaction
But my thoughts, the masked lies, cannot be controlled

Have you not yet understood, after all this time?
Perhaps you have not been listening to my explanations
Or perhaps my words became your understanding of a situation you could not possibly begin to comprehend

After all, this is the very reason it is so hard to talk to you
I must pretend you have given me the solution to all my problems
Because it seems you believe that broken glass can be fixed with tape

Maybe if I scream you will finally hear me this time
Then would you listen to every breath and every strangled cry
Until my suffering becomes clear?

Or will you again, fix broken glass with tape
And go about as if it is not still broken?

The weight of you is heavy
You have placed your fears upon me
And I have no idea what to make of them

I simply want to live
But you have bordered me
As you have been bordered

But you are oblivious to my walls
Because your walls are all you can see
It's scary isn't it?

Somehow you have managed to merge your tears with my own
And now your river supplies mine
And you have contaminated my water

This river is torturous now
It carries away my hopes and dreams
And drowns them viciously

I beg of you, I am on my knees
Knock down your walls
And cleanse your waters

So that you may help to save me.

There was magic in her eyes. The type that captivated you. I could never breathe properly around her; she was quite literally breathtaking. Her beauty surpassed that of a goddess. Her eyes glowed with mischief and chaos, like a late-night adventure. Her tears glowed like diamonds, yet her sadness dulled the Earth. Who was this girl? I longed to know her.

I only ever witnessed her in my dreams. Yet her warmth seemed so real. I could still feel the ghost of her touch in consciousness. I could still hear the lull of her voice in a crowded room. I could still see flashes of her when I closed my eyes.

She was everything I wished to be. The opposite of my insecurities. Only belonging to an alternate universe for she couldn’t exist here. Her light was too pure and their darkness too corrupt. The bliss of her smile would fade as quickly as the sunset.

So, for now she exists in my subconscious where she is safe.

she holds me hostage;
like somber poetry.
she engulfs me;
like a harsh winter's breeze
she consumes me;
like the flames of a star.
she is my apollo.