Out of place and all alone.
I find myself searching
for someone like me
with blonde hair, green eyes,
same tongue.
I connect to nothing,
except the wifi signal around me.

But why?
Why do I not connect to the woman next to me?
To the man with his daughter asleep in his lap?

I see no smiles or laughs
only a woman crying.
At least that is something.
There, there it is.
Real emotions.
Something to connect us.

come to me
my arms are open, my heart is wide.

no matter who you've worshiped
or what you have done,

no matter who you've been
or what you think you've become,

there is nothing to hide
for I am gracious and loving
and you are mine.

even the moon wanes and changes.

not all are howlers,
plump and full.
some nights a mere sliver,

but no matter the day
or the night
it is still there,

constant as the sun.

you are fearless
you have never been in love before
but I have.
please take it easy with me.
I have scars and scares I am
still getting over.

there are some things you should know.
like how being in love
has nothing to do with commitment.
you can still come and go
in love.
sometimes it is because
you are in love that you leave.

so maybe that is why I don’t
say it as often.
it is not that I do not feel in love
it may be that I am just
learning to let myself
feel in love again.

because I know what it is like
to break promises
and to have promises broken.

it’s in those moments
when I forget all about you.
you bring up the sun
paint the sky with bright orange.
you lift the mountain
and dust it with yellow aspens.
you form the clouds into a foamy sea
and show me your greatness.
and remind me I am yours
and gain my attention again.

you make me forget everything.
you make me forget the heartache
and mistakes,
all regrets.
what I ate yesterday
or that I’m hungry,
what I just said
and where we’re going.
the nightmare I dreamt last night.
you make me forget the rest of the year before I met you,
because all things changed when I met you and felt you.
all things change with you.

your words mean more to me than you know.
the compliments and criticisms alike replay in my head
over and over.
at each utterance and letter
my heart grins or grieves,
I can be built up like a tower
or come crumbling down.

for you have me heart,
so speak gently.