there is a fountain of living water
yet I stand beside it
lapping my tongue in the water
of a broken cistern
baffled by my continual thirst.

oh to see myself
as white as
the blinding snow
under the sun.

today I am drifting into dreams
of one day holding you,
hearing your laugh,
watching your wiggling toes
muddy from running outside all day.

I don't know where you're from
but I know where you'll be.
Head on my shoulders
when your heart gets broken,
in my arms
when you wake from a nightmare.

And I don't know what you've been through,
but I know what you'll do.
Walk across stages,
fall in love,
try new things that scare you.

I don't know everything that will happen,
but one thing is sure.
You will be loved more the you know,

my son.

what used to bring me
to me knees,
now merely makes me wobble.

you feel like
cool winds on a hot day,
warm showers and soft blankets.

you sound like
good music on record players,
with rhythm and melody,
girl bands and Rivers Cuomo.

you taste like
good coffee full of simple undertones
with geographic names,
sweet bloom and huck.

you are real things,
tangible and touching senses.

Maybe it's not the waterfall
I hoped or dreamed of
gushing and glistening in the sun,

but the river I look at
is the one that I love
so it's trickles and ripples
will be all that I ask for.

I can tell that I have grown.
Yesterday, you left.
But I remained unshaken.
Something that would have
whitened my knuckles,
but I said it was okay.
I knew I was okay.

And then I let myself
celebrate my soundness
and I had more joy in me
than if you had stayed.