There's always that one person who will always have your heart.* I remember a song saying, and all I could think about is you. Unfair isn't? Unconsciously, I have given a special part of me without me, knowing. What is even funnier is that you're not aware of it. You've made me happy without you noticing. You've made look forward to things without you trying. The sad part though is that, you've also hurt me without you, knowing.

It started when you stopped talking to me. I don't know. Maybe I said something stupid and it made you feel bad. But I know the kind of person you are. You don't dwell on things so, I am not really sure. All I know is that you stopped talking to me. Well, you still talk to me but it was not the same anymore. What even ***** is that there were times when you pretended like I was not there. You would talk to other people the way you used to talk to me and I swear, I was tearing into pieces. Like, were you doing these things unconsciously? or, were you just like that? I can't tell anymore.

You told me to be this and that. I did not follow. This is my silent way of rebelling. I know you care for me and I like the way it feels. I'm sorry if I would intentionally do the opposite of the things I shouldn't. When you're around, I can't help but to be a baby. I thought you would take care of me. Apparently, I was wrong. I thought we have something. You made me feel like there was. It took me quite some time to realize though that it was over. Is everything just an illusion?

I miss the old us. The confusing and happy us. So now I know you weren't exactly what I thought you were. Because if you were, you would not change. How I wish though that you're still here. I miss having you around. I don't know what this is. But I just feel like I need to share everything to you. It saddens me. So many things took place already and I know you will be happy for me.

This is life. People come and go. Feelings don't, specially the real ones. Or maybe they do. Only time will tell.

What is this? definitely not a poem.

Imagining a day without you fills my eyes with tears. This is ironic for in reality, you're barely even here. You are going back to the strange person I used to know. The exact same person who hurt me not so long time ago. For every excuse, I am hurting. Tell me, am I not worthy? I am always the least among your priorities, committing without really committing. There are so many things I want to say. You're always sleepy and busy so I just have to pretend that I am okay. I don't like this feeling. It is like knowing, without really knowing you. Is this one of the parts I have to accept? or is this good bye yet? I don't know. I am hurting and I am crying and I don't have someone to talk to. I am absorbing everything in and I feel like exploding... exploding into tears. Why did I let this happen? Why did I let any of these happen? I saw this coming.. I really did. :(

Okay, this is not a poem.

It was during my darkest days...
Your voice helped me find the way.
If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't get through.
Believe it or not, this is true.

Maybe it was destined like this..
Short chit-chat, with a little tease.
I used to pray for a more meaningful bond..
But maybe, it wasn't fated to go beyond.

Stop reminiscing, stop reliving.
I need to concentrate.. focus on where I am heading.
I hope you could come along with me,
but then, that was not meant to be.

Do you smile when you hear my name?
Do you still think I am crazy?
You know, I'm no longer the same.
Way way different now, from where I came.

A part of me wants to let go...
But there is someone inside saying I should hold on..
Both voices are becoming more & more audible..
Every night, I curl up and hear them rumble.

Flowers, glitters, butterflies..
Where have they all gone?
It is true that time flies..
Am I waiting for none?

For the nights I should have been held..
For the words I should have said..
Damages which have not been mend..
Is the flame really dead?

Late night sweet talks..
Overwhelming compliments..
Under the moonlight walks..
Is this an early lament?

I'm still here.
And maybe you are just near.
Fate will lead you to me..
Save me from my fears.

SOS.

Thank you
For saying all the right words when no one was there.
Thank you
For the inspiration when no one cared.

Thank you
You made me realize I'm *beautiful
Thank you
You encouraged me to stand my ground and be a fighter
Thank you
If it wasn't for you I would not walk away
Thank you
I'll be fine, and *I'm here to stay

All I've ever wanted is a peaceful life...
even that I cannot achieve overnight.
War doesn't always mean getting against others into fight..
Sometimes, it's a battle within the same person inside.

I talk so loud just to make it stop.
I even hide, pretending through laughs...
But, that facade is not enough...
Maybe, I am not that tough.

It can keep me up til short hand strikes three.
Until when will I have to deal with thee?
Just unfair if only I can see..
In this for sure, I will be able to win..

I'm not crying but my heart is weeping.
I'm smiling but I don't feel like laughing..
I'm walking but I don't know where I am going..
I've been asking questions but You are not answering.

The one who's always lured
Like a puppet, with strings and wood
The one who's always ruled
Like a robot, command for every move.