Oh, God, this ache,
this sacrifice;
the hunger burns like a torch
carried from ***** to ***** by my crawling blood.
I envy the others their easy lives
I envy their books of subtle hints
of words so easily changed and ignored
because there is no power greater than permanence,
no substance harder than the diamond
used to carve the words into my soul -
I would pay the Earth for the luxury of ignorance,
would give all to not know of power
to not know of fear
to not know of belief;
God, I just want to eat.

I glare at the clear and unbroken sky,
its blue a hue that made young girls weep
as they gazed into some unattainable stranger's eye;
I am grass greener than sin
chewed by cattle older than time
and as I sway to any trickling wind
I point accusingly at that clear and unbroken sky
because it shunned away the clouds
with their heavy weeping cargo of life
with their voluptuous bodies that would cushion the chariot
as it stops at ninety degrees from my weeping skin;
I am a bird lost on the canvas
as the backdrop is wiped clean when the chariot thunders past
and, blinking, I gaze helplessly -
for I am as young as this moment -
into the clear and unbroken sky.

To lofty tower the sweet queen sped
By the hand of her kingly husband  led
To preserve her sweetness ever more
And lead the people into uproar
For she, their humble friend, was taken
Hidden from their loving eyes
And so the people's trust was shaken
And so the king they did despise.

Tower daunting, tower wide,
Tower built in earnest pride;
The tower wispy clouds did touch;
The queen, she did not want for much
For inside whirled a palace great,
There was no whim it could not sate
And so from here she looked upon
That kingdom she had once ruled on
While husband, king, was pressed too hard
And stole but nights of her to ease
The sweetness of her sweet release
Leaving there his heart when they did part.

But sweetness not for long can keep
For sweet queen, she was losing sleep,
Her mind in the infested gutters now
As he, the king was forced to bow
To the orders of a people disrupt
And the queens face it did corrupt,
Lines of sadness knotting through
Her angel's face, written anew
And when the broken king did return
He found a broken thing by tower kept
And what a terrible way to learn
How love betrays the woman that wept.

I feel like I should do something important
to achieve some important result
to feel like I had done something worthwhile
rather that sitting here with nothing
but a bookmark a few hundred pages in
and a screen littered with metawritten words that don't rhyme
put in some sequence to represent
the flowing of my thoughts
some uneven syllable arrangement
I want structure like a new London building
where the glass is black and unresponsive to the onlooker
but from inside
from inside the world is clear and unbroken
apart from the seams where the glass meets
apart from those small strips of darkness
because why merely wish for perfection?

You are head on knees
arms 'round legs
tears on jeans.
You are sleepless nights
restless dread
dang'rous dreams.
You close the book
and come unhinged
to see it shut.
You light the candle
and stare until
you burn it out.
You are torn out hair
empty glass
bloodshot eyes.
You are fading thin
losing faith
no surprise.