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This little flower
is not blue and has no yellow heart.
It has no heart at all,
And instead of a slender green stem
There is a barbed wire stalk
Covered with tiny biting thorns.
I pick the blooms constantly
And scatter them throughout my home
Some in vases, and some just scattered so that
when encountered, those thorns will do the worst damage,
Only to me, of course, only to me.
I can't help reaching out my hand
to touch a petal, so pretty...
But my fingers always find the thorns instead.
I wish I could spare you words like beautiful, babe, figure and thin.
I wish I could guarantee you a complete disregard for the size of your *******
Or the length of your legs.
I pray never to find you hunched over the toilet
Or hiding a sandwich under books in your bag.
What will the equivalent of cyberbullying be, in ten years time?
I will try, so very hard, to keep you safe.

Please, always talk to each other, and to me.
Share your heart’s bleedings
And I will help you staunch the flow.
I will find the courage to share my failings
And the confidence to pass on my successes,
Both were instrumental in my becoming the woman I am,
A woman I hope you will be proud of, and applaud.

It is hard to be a woman, in this world,
Urged, relentlessly to perfection,
Bombarded with it, drowned in it,
But perfection is a myth, and becomes imperfect with attainment,
It is the imperfections that will mesmerise,
Embrace them, love them, let them shine.

How long did it take me to learn these lessons?
Have I learned them, even now?
Sometimes I think I have, then I become overwhelmed
By anxiety and self-doubt.
This will happen to you too,
I cannot hope to save you from it
But I can provide some armour.

Think for yourselves,
Reject the babble and the screens, the illusion of celebrity
Twenty-first century addictions.
Do not become a slave to technology.
I can see how hard that will be,
But it must be done, if you are to remain people,
Retain your humanity.
I will help you; I will hold your hands.

You are tiny now, but I can see the strength within you both,
And I will nurture it, protect it,
Then it will protect you, out there.
I promise I will always be your tigress,
But you will not always be my little cubs
I will have to find a way to sheath my claws,
And let you stalk your own prey,
And evade the predators, just as I have done.

I watch you, playing happily together in the sun,
And wish you peace, and love, and joy.
Such simple things, yet so elusive.
I will not show you this poem.
But I will read it, frequently,
And try to keep my promises.
My heart thuds in my chest, each a double-beat
A constant repetition of your names,
Tattooed onto my soul.
I spend a lot of time

free inside my mind

I dream of a vacant room

with only a mirrored wall

and polished wooden floors

The lilac stereo blasts my favorite songs

and i dance the rythmic ways

ive been dreaming of for days

sometimes, the lilac doors creaks open

and someone i don’t know the name of

dances with me.
i just found this in my archive from two years ago...
I was confined for countless years
Stranded in a sinking cage
Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting to be released
One quiet day when
The voice in my head was particularly loud
A light shone through the bars and it was clear that
No one could save me except myself
So I took the walls down
Shattered them with a single touch
And walked over the shards of cowardice
And said "I have been brave all along."
You are as powerful as you think yourself to be! Hell yeah.
My sadness
Is a late summer storm.

A few days of sun,
But I knew it was brewing.
Anticipation, trepidation,
Gathering resolve.

It thunders over me
When I least expect it.
There's a sudden build up
Then release.

Afterwards
I feel renewed
for a while.

Only for a while.

I can still hear the thunder, in the distance
And I know it will return,
Heavier, and darker than before.
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