The yellow ones
make me feel more in tune,
than the orange did.
But the blue ones bring
me to an acceptable low,
where as the purple
just make me groggy.
There's four types of white
that inhabit different capsules.
I only take them when I'm feeling
ambitious.
The green are exotic,
revving me up, taking me to
a different world,
just like the ones shaped like
stars.
Maybe I can stop
self medicating,
when I feel even,
or just plain good.
But just for the hell of it,
I'll let them slide into me,
and make me feel like I'm full
of cement,
or glitter.
I'll take them to help me sleep
or stay up all night for
whatever adventure I'm brought.
I'll keep them around.
For now.

"Are you a head case too?"
I laugh it off,
but you're still wondering.
Would you actually listen,
if I told you all of the things
that might be wrong?
No.
And when you stared at me,
waiting for an answer,
I couldn't bear to even think
about telling you my opinion.
Maybe it's because I don't have one.
Would you take the time, to wait?
No.

If I speak too quietly,
what I'm saying probably
isn't important anyway.
And when my mood gets a little
shaky, I hope you know
that it's just me.
When I tell you that I'm not interested,
I'm sorry if you're too sensitive
to take my words
just as they are.
Just let me hug you,
or push you away sometimes,
I think you'll live.
My moods will
switch fast
and go hard;
try not to mind.
I'm just a little confused,
and worried,
and euphoric,
and absent-minded,
and distant.
So don't look at me
like I'm an enigma,
because I'm not
as dynamic as you make me out
to be.
And I'm sorry,
but I'm just a little scattered,
and I'll fix it, I promise.

I will not get attached,
because you don't care.
I will not get attached,
because I know what's real.
I will not get attached,
because it's absolutely ridiculous.
I will not get attached,
because I'm not an idiot.











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