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 Mar 2014 agreenthrow
Noah
I watch lord of the rings when I'm feeling
empty and masochistic
when I feel like butter
scraped over too much bread
not toast, but bread, with
butter cold and hard to spread
and I struggle until my bread is full of holes and
I can't hold myself together -
     I am the bread.

I watch lord of the rings when I want to be
distracted, reassured that in the end
it is only a passing thing, this shadow
and I cling to those words like my shadow clings to me
hoping one day I will truly believe them
but marathon after marathon
I am frodo only in burden, not in strength
I am aragorn only in fear, gimli only in stature, but
most of all I am faramir in the pyre
except I put myself there and
I don't know how to wake myself up even though
     I know the flames are coming.

So give me cream and I will
churn and churn and churn
and give me flames to toast my bread as dark as my shadows,
and I will scrape that butter on that bread until
     I can survive.
we lay in the fields and on the dry hills
and smoked green out of a purple pipe and you kissed a boy who talked about crystals and rolled down under the stars
i shared my cigarette with soft lips and a strong jawline,
we all drew ourselves together on the hill that overlooked the world;
we we're the tallest, vastest beings ever to live, and the glowing lights that we're stuck like splinters in the palms of the sky we're mere reflections of what was within our glowing skin.
nobody gives a **** about me
but that's okay
because i don't care about them anyway
so it works out nicely.

i talked to a boy
with blue eyes today on the phone
its his birthday
and he told me stories about home
and i find i only ever
find reassurance in his voice.

he was the only one walking me home
as we swayed from midday gulps of *****
our legs itchy and imprinted
with the echoes of laying on grassy hills.

he would watch me smoke cigarettes
and look at the sun filtering through the smoke
as we ate a pint of cherry vanilla ice cream
and broke the spoon.

he'd watch as i destroyed myself and breathed in my
recklessness as though it were oxygen,
he'd always be there beside me
when i would balance on top of the small
awnings over the tall bridge,
and wait for the wind to knock me down into the raging
river below.

i wan't to cry and shed off this mortal skin
so i can sleep peacefully in my pajamas
of rattling bones
in some sort of paradise away
from
this tiresome earth.

i am too vast to be squeezed into this small
body

please sing me to sleep.

"remember when we used to bury worms
in the ground like a funeral
because it was the most contradictory thing we could do?
burying something that thrives in the earth like its dead,"

when he said goodbye,
he said i love you
and i said i love you too
because it was the most natural thing
i could do.
 Feb 2014 agreenthrow
Agentorange
There is a space between me and you,
I visit that space more often

They say the stars twinkling
might not be real anymore

The past still hanging in the air
diffuse with every breath you take

I could never figure out if the moon was waxing or waning,
Tonight could be anything

I let my thoughts fly into the painted sky,
Drifting they fall into my mind

The moon waxes, pulls my mind
smells my body of earth so divine

With every monsoon, the colours drip from the sky,
My thoughts come back to me through rain with the moon that wane

Drowsy dreams, melting stars,
The gravity that pulls me apart

In that space the forgotten song waits for you
A whisper, to exist, to disappear.
 Feb 2014 agreenthrow
Aurelio
Every night, I drown in a world of nightmares.
They don't scare me anymore.

I've seen the people I love
die a thousand deaths.

I've been chased by a million monsters
that I didn't even know existed.

I've felt more humiliation and guilt in one dream
than in my entire waking life.

But the worst nightmare of all
is the one in which I lose you.

Those nights leave my face
wet with tears.

T.11.I
I don't want you to be overused
in my poetry
but the truth is I'm still a poet
and you're still my muse.
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