Monday
1st April
0845 hours

for a few months
things have been missing
oddly enough when i need them the most

in those finding moments
i can't seem to find them

unless
i oddly standing by
there it is
the missing item
just right under my nose

but sadly enough
you were nowhere to be found near

she's into the dark side
she loves it
she embraces it

because in the dark
no one can see

her tears
her scars
her battles

their forever has an expiration date

and so does their love

"i'm always there for you"

is the biggest scam of all time

i'm never enough for you
and it's stupid of me to think that one day i will be enough
for you

because to you i'm just me
not her
and apparently that's not enough

no one ask because they care
they ask because it's convenient

they say they care
but really they don't
they just say it to make themselves feel better

they ask because it's the right thing to do
not because they care

she sat in her sit like she did everyday
but today it's different
as this one person decided to sit next to her
she never been bothered by whose sitting next to her

but this one
this particular one

smells of fresh soap and burnt out cigarettes
left her on edge

because the smell felt like home to her body

it felt like him

they say once you're gone
their life turns into gloom

but i am alive now
and my life is gloom

you turn the tap on
with a little bit more force
because it's been broken for months
and nobody bother to fix it

you hear the thumping sound of the water
hitting your head
not too hard
not too slow
just perfect enough
to make you feel like you are away
rather than the comfort of your bathroom

but you open your eyes
and you are instantly back to reality
all your worries and anxieties
are creeping in

have you ever feel like
you want to put a book down
as soon as
your favourite character is gone

well that's how i feel about life
except my soul as the character
as soon as it's gone
i want to put life down too

i'm worthy of love
but not yours

i deserve better
but not you

i'm loveable
but not by you

i'm loved you say
but not by you

- so what is it then

i was never sure of what i want

but you

**** you

i was so ******* sure about you

when are parents going to realise that the monster don't only come out at night

there's monster during the day too

which harm me more than they realise

she sleeps with disturbing thoughts in her mind

and so

she wakes up with a burden to endure

thats how it all started
with you talking about other girls with me

so i guess thats how it all ended
with you wanting other girls but me