Here she comes walking
The silent steps that hover on egg shells
Velvet incarnation
Her every word is where my mind dwells
There she goes walking
My body must be made of glass
Her eyes stay set forward
and I shatter with her pass

When did I become so bitter?
Used to be the guy seeing a bag and pick up the litter,
now I watch it blow by,
less of a smile and more of a sigh,
my kid, my teenage self would never want to be this guy,
singing loudly used to be a habit,
now I just write sad poems on a laptop or tablet,
not the type you come to,
because all my colors are gone cept for blue,
what happened to you?
when did I become so sad?
instead of always seeing good,
now its just all bad,
not optimistic nor real,
just writing to make me feel,
but it doesnt help like i need it,
I used to finish a poem and sigh off the ****,
but now I'm consumed bit by bit,
by this world,
by my life,
by my past,
used to smile while finishing last,
dreaming was a hobby and I would want to sleep,
now I run away from dreams and stay awake till the alarm goes beep
when did I get so bitter?
used to take care of drunk friends like a sitter,
now the days are gone and I'm drinking alone,
waiting by the phone,
but not answering the call,
I used to see girls and feel my heart stall,
and smile when they looked my way,
now their eyes look and say,
what happened to you?
Why am I so bitter?

I wonder what you thought
The night we met
When I pressed your palm to my cheek
And held it there as if it could keep me
From ever crying again.

I wonder what you thought when I woke up and kissed your wrist
In the middle of the night
That time I got to sleep in your arms
And held your gaze as if
Your heartbeat could keep me from ever hurting
Again.

I wonder what you think
Whenever you have to walk away from me
About how I stand there and watch you go
Until I can't possibly see you anymore.
I just stand there
Still.
Paused.
Trying to keep every last second of being near you
Until there are no more left.

I wonder what you'd think if you knew
That there have been times when I've stood like that
Long after you were far gone
Unable to quit the spot where I last saw your smile
As if somehow staying there would help me remember it.

I wonder what you think
Those times when you lean close to me
And I can feel the warmth of your cheek inches from mine
Or your hair brushes my neck
And it undoes me completely
I wonder what you think that I shudder when you're close,
Because I've seen you see me.
I've seen you know.

I wonder what you think
That I write you poems
When I can't sleep.

the days where we lay
poolside by the dogs
so far gone, and now
i just can't wait to see your face
everyday
and then not for six months
it won't be any different
i'll light up

familiar feelings of home
at the top of the road
the barn and all the animals
tea and home videos
i can't wait.

Laying there in the brightest of suns,
I hear them urging me to sleep.
So I curl and rest,
Letting the warmth soothe me,
Letting the light in all the way.

As I drift, they tell me that
Sleeping this way,
I'll wake up to angels.

And so I rest,
But I cannot sleep.
And yet, I open my eyes
And notice immediately the flutter
of a brown bird in the sky.

As he disappears, I see that he was
But an index
Leading my eyes upwards,
To those above him in the sky.

And I know they are birds,
But I know they are the angels too.

White, twinkling angel birds,
Being sure to fly high enough that I
have just as much a reason to call them birds,
As I do to call them angels.

For are they not one in the same?
Occupying the hight bright sky like that,
I can distinguish no difference.

The man with the piercing eyes
The one that is oh so wise
The one that feels like he can criticize

The man with the heart melting looks
The one that is king of the rooks
The one that gets his strength from his books

The man with the exact right word
The one that thinks what you write is absurd
The one that doesn't listen to what he's heard

The man with the new and hot game
The one that I think is really looking for your shame
The one that I think doesn't think we're all the same

The man with the tower to look down
The one that has lowered my level to a frown
The one that makes you feel like he doesn't want you around

He has the word and he has the sound
But don't fall under his spell
He'll turn your head round and round
And leave you in a state of dwell

Hope so often feels foolish
A belief of reasons, purpose
Such a dismaying risk to trust
But in doubting, what if we sin?

If indifference is potentially easier
And our desires are left without expectation
Are we merely protected from possible disappointment
Or are we trashing our faith in God's abilities to keep us free?

Stubborn as all hell, I am
When you say you just want to be friends
But what happens when I kiss someone else
And want you on the receiving end?

As I pull off her dress,
Wishing it was us making a mess
Feel fire rolling off her tongue, in full heat
But my heart still plays your beat

She shudders and moans the way you used to,
But still
Still she’s not you