There’s an attic where I can go to.
And through the window peeps a new beginning maybe.

But I’ll never really be ready.
So I close my eyes.
I got nothing left to lose but no freedom.
No reason to stay.

I need a taste of that world where I’m alive.
First it kills me everytime I drink from the cup of joy.

And my dead body lies on the attic.
But it’s brought back to life by a man.
He tells me that he has a surprise for me.
And it’s just outside…

Always that man, always that drink.
Always that body dead brought back.

The eyes don’t glow.
Not here.
Not anymore.

Because this world doesn’t feel right to me.
And there’s no glowing, just freezing.

In this world there’s love, when you look deeper inside it feels like a belonging.
Are there actual words for deep feelings?
I like to try to find my way of expressing them at least.

I like to try through words, movements, sound.
I feel so distracted by noise, I feel so uncomfortable in life.
But when I think about love/belonging I feel so much emotion, realness, longing.

My thoughts can get in the way of my love, the “now”, the true desire.
Set me free, I beg you now, torturing place, prison guard, unlock the chains.
⛓️‍💥
**** the disease.
Break the bars.
Release the tension.
Come get me.
Let me out.
Spread your arms open wide.
Let me inside.
Welcome me.

New world of love and belonging, inside you and me.
Away from here where there’s noise and control and no control of your life.
I’m dying over and over just to live a little, fighting battles for some peace.

Let me let it go, let it out, get out, blow up.
Dream far.
Escape fast and stay away.
Long enough to feel so good.
To know what it’s like again to have energy, be exited about something.

Over someone.
A connection.
A place.
A new way to be.
A new name and body.
A fresh feeling.
Fulfillment, purpose, hope, belonging/love.

Time is stressful.
Limiting.
Hard to ignore.
Organizing.
We need it.
But it kills us.
It puts an end to things.
In this world.
I love that.
But I hate everything else about it.
That’s why I love that it ends itself for everyone.
Time is also limited.
Time dies.
By time of death.
Buy time, time is money.
Money can’t buy it.
It can only help to conceal it sometimes or save you time.
Making things easier and faster.
Try to make time.
For what matters.
All we got is time.
And no time.
Everything matters.
But no time for everything.
So we do the dull things.
That can’t wait.
We don’t take enough time for ourselves or we wait for someone.
Give us time today, tomorrow next weekend.
Let us take time and not let time take everything.

You have to accept what you can’t change.
And try to make your way through it.
This world can imprison you and not set you free for so long that it feels as if you died.
And you feel it so deeply it’s now a part of your journey.

The opposite of freedom.
That’s what this world can feel like.
The balance for when you are out of here.
So when you are free you know what it’s like to be stuck.
To work hard, to suffer so bad.

You know what it’s like.
And I hope it makes it all worth it then when you’re free so you enjoy it well.

When I say “everything will be ok”, I mean just for today.
I don’t mean forever and always.
I mean we’ll get through this somehow.
And it’s no fun most moments.
You have to realize.
It’s hard work.
Really hard work for just those moments of peace.
And we’re doing it.
When it goes on for too long some people get weary.
At times or forever.
For the rest of their lives, a little or a lot.
It can feel so uncomfortable.
Struggling daily.
But then when you reach a milestone in the day you can be proud, celebrate, be a boss.
Because, come on, you did it, AGAIN

✨⭐️🩵💙💜HOPE is all we’ve got when life’s rough. Accepting things are not how we wish them to be. But they feel better in dreams sometimes. And you forget about pain that you carry. You meet people and hug them. And it’s so intense. Like a drink to a song times a 1000. Or more. You don’t know anything else. Let that hope be that dream. And that dream be that HOPE 💜💙🩵⭐️✨

When I’m in the dark and the noises won’t stop.
I call upon the Goddesses to help.
And then when nothing flows we make it.
It’s not easy but I feel them.
And we celebrate later.
I hope they understand that I would rather join them altogether.
But I’m not ready yet.
I don’t know how much longer till I’m where I want to be but they send gifts.
Sometimes I need to pay for them.
That’s fair.
But sometimes the balance needs to be made.
No perfect dream without a nightmare after.
How much celebrating is going to feel ok still?
I’m still here and I just need to escape it.
All the noise and all the feelings.
I want the darkest black and the brightest glitter.
The deepest blue, pink and purple.
And then I swim.
Keep swimming.
Cause I can’t just all day long “keep swimming” without feeling.
I feel too much.
But it’s ok when it’s good.
Good stuff, good energy, it will come.
Like fairy witches, my name will be Nanti Noémy
🧚🏻‍♀️✨✨🌑✨✨🌻