I am not who you think i am, i am not who i think i am, i am not what i think you think i am. I am ... Nothing!

Why do you have to be such a bully? You will never get letters that end with "yours truly"! Because of what you do bad things will happen to you too. You want to come in my house after you said and did what you did? My feelings and thoughts for you completely ended! For get the way things used to be with your fake smile and laughing tehe! That day has come to an end when the one being bullied stands up fed up with the trend. They yell and scream to get it through their heads with people thinking they need to be on meds. When really all of those people arent there but they are defenately some where looking at you through this mirror laughing at what used to make things so much clearer. You are your own bully standing in the way of your fears and hiding whats there truly,truly! Turn away and face the day as a person not a mirror dont make anything become clearer. Be the one who makes a difference!

Why do i feel like everything has to have an order?
Why cant everything be random?
Never know how or when you'll get a ride home from your friends house. Never know what time it is. Get lost in the fact that nothing has to be perfect but everything has to be scattered and unorganized. But how would we know if it was random if there were no such thing as order or normalism? Would we even exist if the world began randomly than perfectly?

What are we but rays in which makes up the sun that shines each day. Some duller or brighter than others but still there everyday showing what they have to offer. Some like to stand out and touch everything living and make them come to life. Others hide behind the shadows of the brighter lights and fear of the world as it may be or may become. I am the sun. Gathering those rays dull or bright hoping that they all stay attached and willing to feel my warmth and comfort. Til the day when that plan fails and all my rays start to slowly die off and we no longer have a sun. Just the darkness of the moon and the days that it brings.
#forever alone #never understood

I ask why, you wave goodbye
I say hello, you say no
I wonder how weve come to this, you go on like theres nothing you'd ever miss
I cry myself to sleep at night, while your crushing my heart squeezing tight
I feel the ripping of my chest being opened, while you tug and pull on the ropes end
I am dead...ill...still you go on as if there never was or will

When you look into my eyes
I feel a flare in my heart
Not a small fire being created,
by a few twigs and a spark

Burning like the fires of hell
But feeling like a tropical beach breeze
Trying to hold myself up
But feeling weak in my knees

Oh help me show me your feelings
Instead of hiding from the minds of them
Grow like a flower strong and willing
Instead of being a safe sturdy stem

Be a flare spreading light and joy to others
Open your heart and let me inside
Dont be afraid i wont hurt you
Again i ask you with love and care open arms and willing heart please dont hide

Light is what brings forth a new day and what ends that beginning.
Light is how we see things in a different perspective.
Light is where ideas come from.
Light is what some of us study to understand.
Light is us.
Light is me.
Light is you.
Light is light.

Love
That feeling of always wanting to be around them.
Love
that feeling of waiting to see them, touch them, hear them.
Love
Knowing that theres something there but you cant point it out.
Love
wanting to not live with any doubt.
Love
Realizing that you cant have them pulls your heart strings out.
Hate
Feeling the pain that follows their actions.
Hate
Always trying to impress someone.
Hate
Being yourself and not being accepted.
Hate
Knowing what they could be thinking.
Hate
Finishing poems that have a special meaning.

As i walk through these halls, i feel as if its empty. Those memories reminiscing, replaying over and over. How do u see me? Family or friend i am not. I am just a shadow. Here in one instant, gone the next. If you want to see me, the real me, you have to look in my eyes. Recognize the pain that burns like fire in my eyes. Understand what makes me that shadow, that internal pain burning in my soul. If you extinguish that fire maybe then ill become whole and learn what it's like to feel again. But thats never going to happen. I'm doomed into the internal darkness. The darkness that lies within. the darkness they call pain.

Let it be known that nobody is perfect.
I know that life throws curve ***** and ive made mistakes. Mistakes that i wish i didnt make so they didnt leave me. alone. afraid. hoping to make things better one day but making things worse today. Should they forgive me for what ive done? Or should i live with this regret?

C.O.L.D.
Never changing always there
Adding on from dark to darker
Always changing your mind, the wind
Not realizing its making you any smarter
S.T.O.P.
its here ******* the warmth of memory that ever existed
Feeding on the souls of lives that merely insisted
Holding, haunting, heckling, horrifying
C.O.L.D