It's only cables that tie me to you now
Everytime I try to contact you I get shocked
My phone sits there on the coffee table, but it mys as well be my noose
Every text message I sent was just time spent induced
The idea of being with you is so abstract light bends obtuse

But we tried government and it became to powerful
Our markets were privatized and our thoughts of trade were never exchanged
Oland our military minds built thought tanks from broken memories

I remember those October clouds were like the fog of war
When the sky ripped open and tore the ozone
The conflict was swift but it would take time to repair it
You won the battle though, and your sovereignty became apparent

And here I am with this telephone just calling in air strikes
Missing every time
Because you don't care

I don't know where I am, and I don't know where I'm going. I know barely anything about quantum fluctuations but I am obsessed with them. I am feeble minded as I tend to focus on all the wrong things at all the wrong times. I try to be honest to myself yet I always come short. In lying I find bliss I think, or maybe I just don't want to admit who I am.

One day I'd like to be a writer, although I feel sometimes I'm too self critical of my own work to even get a page in without scrapping everything. I'm trying to find drive, but it's hard when all I want to think about is hopeless romantics. I guess love is the ultimatum, and I'm not sure what it is or if it's even out there. I try not to try and find it, so that it may find me, but at the same time I try not to abide by systematic structures of thinking for thinking.

I have an awful tendency of using metaphors and letting my readers know what was intended by them rather than having the reader come up with it in their own head.

I'm in a constant battle with cynicism as I try to see the best in people, but some don't let me see that.  I think there is greatness in everyone but that for most it is dormant, especially inside of me.  I cannot ask the universe to trigger that greatness inside of me, so in a lot of ways I feel I am waiting for that.  However I do not want to spend my entire life waiting, or I will never be able to look back in the end and see all of the things that resulted in doing.

I'm not sure what I believe about death, and I don't think anybody else really is either.  I don't think that any one person can really know a thing, but I do believe in hunches.  I think uncertainty makes the universe beautiful. I feel that's the dark matter of the human emotion.  Without the weight of certain emotions we can not define anything, and with it we still cannot.  It's all feeling.

I try to stray away from culturally defined things and into a world of ideas.  It is hard to avoid suffering in this way, for if knowledge is unobtainable, then why continue to seek it? Because of this I try not to become attached, but it is hard to do that with the tendencies of human emotion.

Regardless of how much I think on my free time I seem to have lost the ability to do that around others in the public space as I'm always too aware of the people around me.  I wish that I could rid myself of my anxiety, but sometimes the common person is enough of a ***** to make sweat roll down my temples.

I feel there are many sides of me, sides I love, and sides I do not necessarily favor.  However they're all parts of me, and I feel that if I did not have one without the other I would not be able to experience the great things about myself.  I bounce back and forth between these things, and some people trigger the best sides of me, some trigger the worst.  That's why I'm constantly searching for a chemistry that does indeed complete me, so that I can be a me that I love for the rest of my days.  I fear that's why I'm a hopeless romantic.  A hopeful hopeless romantic.

I believe in chemical inevitability.  That at one point the universe was set into motion by a force whether it be something we cannot perceive like a god or something that we can grasp like the sciences, and that every little chemical, every atom was destined to collide in such a way for the rest of eternity.  So whether you think you make your own decision about things or not, they were already decided long ago.  Every chemical in your brain that makes up every thought that you have is there because of something that was set into motion eons ago.  We are intrinsically connected to everything around us, for the thoughts that every little thing gives us, and the actions that create who we are and drive us to be.

I'm trying to find a way to be without thinking, but I suppose that will take a lot of work.. A lot of work.  And I think that would be beautiful, but there is no way to do something by delaying it, but my attention span is short and my anxiety can impede progress more than one could ever imagine.

Everyone goes through things that are hard in their life, whether it be relative to them and only them, I think that having a human conscience is enough to drive anybody into deep depression.  I think that's why Plato always said to 'be kind to everyone you meet, for everyone is fighting a hard battle.' I think that to the human race though it seems that these things are largely unspeakable. There's a social barrier surrounding how people speak of their existentiality, their doubts, their regrets, and the un finite paramount of life.  And I believe that that's why we have become to some extent, a helplessly miserable species.

I decided that I could give you a biography, or I could show you who I am.

I decided the latter.

My name is Zachary Simon, I'm 20 years of age and currently reside in Morgantown, West Virginia. Please, ask me anything.

I kept your note in my head
And I hear it every time the pitch scratches through my ear
When the music isn't enough and the speakers start to buzz
I'm counting my cards and I'm planning my next move to fall in love
I lost my best friend, but also my dove
Don't know when I'm going to push you away, and say enough is enough

Fall caught my attention
Seeing the beautiful leaves stray fleeting
I've been biting at your heels for so long some may say I'm teething
I'm young and my hearts still beating, people say I should jump and drink and **** until I'm bleeding
But all I want is dirt roads, a home, and a season that's never fleeting
I want so much some may say I'm needy
Some may say I'm always day-dreaming

Keeping this inner monologue, going to keep myself from thinking
Sometimes it makes me feel bigger, sometimes I feel like I'm shrinking
If I'm inflamed, don't inquire a doctor, just grab me some cortozone
If I'm crying, don't ask her why, just hang up the telephone

Council of my mind
Why do we gather here today?

The wraps around your hands are weathered from your anger
Your passion is whimsical as the wind of the lower valley
Why is it you bounce between boundaries like the hellish grip of possession
Has your confidence not found its way to its obsession?

I've lost my way, yes I know, it's the silence that creeps into my veins and into my bones
That makes me so fragile I could break with the throw of a stone
Most of the time I can move forward like fire
And every breath of vanity feeds oxygen to the fire
I could singe every tree in the forest, but what I seek is hiding in the ocean
I could not grasp her attention for more than a second, it would take a lovers potion

Have you not seen what you have put yourself through to grasp something you can't feel?
You couldn't catch a fish if you had a pole and a reel
Why do you try to can the sardine when you do not have the seal?

I do not mean to keep her in a cage, all I want is for her to be free

Can you not see how happy she is,
Maybe you should leave her the way she is before you scare her back into the sea
Let her roam the land, let her be free
Asking her to dance would be like putting her on a leash

But if she accepts the dance I will not hesitate
If it means her feeling caged then I will join her in fate
It will mean the beginning of a new era bound by heart and by hand
And the end to an era shaped like an hourglass, running out of sand

If X is Y then why should X and Pi be multiplied
Because if X is Y then maybe Pi would shy away and look for a different x that's worth the time to multiply
But Pi is complex and never knows what it wants
One second Pi's confident and loves to flaunt, but at other times it's insecure and its anxiety tends to wonder and haunt
Pi doesn't really know what it needs, and definitely doesn't know what it wants
It's hard to make commitments but in the late of night lonliness taunts

Pi is a complex character, a stand up guy
But the more he thinks the more his mind becomes like the roll of a die
But pi, pi is too caught up in X's and Y's
Independent or dependent, and full of lies
They're all the same or trying to be too different all of the time
If only Pi could see that it should be with someone more like Pi
Because multiplication could last forever, not just on the roll of a die