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1.6k · Jan 2015
I hate myself and Im proud
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
I hate myself and Im proud
Shows me that deep down inside
there might just be a little light left in me.
823 · Jan 2015
Cold eyes
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
I recognize those cold eyes.
I saw them every morning.
They looked back at me from the puddle  of blood.
Mocking me
Taunting me with their emptiness.

I miss the optimism.
I miss not knowing how grey the sky gets

I miss waking up under the same sun as the rest of the unhappy people
Every morning re-gluing that smile on
while tying on that new colorful noose the wife got you.

I recognize those cold eyes.
I watched my life crumble through them.
675 · Jan 2015
Artificial sweeteners
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
This sure feels like rock bottom
About all the sorrow and misery you could fit into a ******* person
without having their ******* skulls implode from sheer insignificance.
              I dont matter.
Draining out blood for more space,
more space for artificial sweeteners.
          The further I get,
             from myself ,
          the better off I'll be.
612 · Jan 2015
Explosive love
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
This valentines day give your loved one something they'll love.
Grab a c4 and strap in under a dove.
Express.  
Explosive love
Philip J Fry May 2015
Love is a loose noose.
I  chose to step up on that stool.  
In a dark room
The whispers of cold sweats guide me.  
As I stick my neck into the hole
I think but one thought
I hope my love is strong enough to withstand two
458 · May 2016
Rot of the have'not
Philip J Fry May 2016
Fingers crossed turned to fingers being pointed.
Pointed, like a piping hot barrel of a shotgun, with another bullet itching to inch closer  
The world had turned.
My world has turned.
Thrown aside for being bruised and damaged
The apple of my eye is now rotting away
429 · Mar 2016
Truthing
Philip J Fry Mar 2016
She asks how I'm holding up.
Without batting an eye I truth "like a diabetic drunk trying to balance a bottle of ***** with his nubs."
414 · Jan 2015
Hope
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
Never deprive someone of hope.
It might be all they have.
Next to empty **** bags and a suitcase filled with white flags.
401 · Jan 2015
Social smoking
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
Whenever I need a friend
I go out for a smoke
Huff and puff my problems to the ****
Fling the cancer redden cotton
And off I go.

Whenever I need a friend
I go out for a joint
The exchange of **** for friendship
What a world.

Thank you for helping
By killing me slowly.
379 · Jan 2015
FIN.
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
Pain
I'm real.
Slowly but surly dying as each breath leaves my lungs.
I'm alive and I matter.
I feel it in my gut.

Stuck in a movie reel
The same day looping over and over and over again...
Waiting for the moment I build enough courage to just hop on out.
To finally see how this ****** movie ends.
373 · Jun 2015
Restless
Philip J Fry Jun 2015
Row the razor boat down my arms river.
I need to know of the beauty the hides inside,
Before I wave goodbye.
Give the man in a sky the highest five  
It was worth a try.
Restless is restless
The world is my garage
She's the asbestos .
371 · Jan 2015
Lingering Guilt
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
I write you,
You close your eyes.

I call you ,
You cover your ears.  

When Im gone
you'll get all the space you ever wanted.

That emptiness that will surround you.
That emptiness will be me.

.Lingering Guilt.
364 · Jan 2015
Paradox
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
Sad because I’m not productive.
Not productive because I’m sad.
358 · Jan 2015
Just small talk.
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
Emotions are a cancer.
Eating away at my health.
Replacing the urge to live with a razor down my vein.
Death is the sweet next door neighbor who just wont invite me in for tea.

Just small talk.
356 · Jan 2015
Alone and Sober
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
Every time a dealer offers me a pill ,I fight it.
I fight the urge to be happy.
I dont deserve relief.
I deserve to suffer.
Alone and sober.
350 · Mar 2016
The system
Philip J Fry Mar 2016
A broken system,
judging broken men.
Not sparing a single break,
noone wants to understand.
noone wants to hold a broken heart in their hands,
to feel a product of a broken home.
347 · Jun 2015
Gray
Philip J Fry Jun 2015
Sweat pouring down my face like tears at a funeral
Face flushed
Fist clenched
I will fight this
I will make it through
because I love
    YOU
     me
331 · Jan 2015
Its not over
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
Waltzing through the airport.

For a moment it felt you weren't leaving.
For a moment everything was OK.

Your finger grazing my cheek
as your lips softly mouthed the lie

Its not over .

But it was. You knew it and so did I.
Our deepest fear has floated ashore.

As time passed we drifted apart.

I stopped recognizing myself in the mirror.
Im not me without you.
328 · Apr 2016
Ephemeral
Philip J Fry Apr 2016
Simmering between my ears,
bursting into my dreams,
leaving me frothing at the mouth,
eyes rolling back like slot machine symbols ,
Is the thought of time pushing me around like morning commuters on a packed train.
321 · Jan 2015
Snow
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
Shovel snow
up my nose
till my fingers and toes go numb.
310 · Jan 2015
It will never be the same
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
Recently I feel left out of gods sight.
Abandoned by the people who showed me what loves about.
In silence I mourn the lose of my sanity.
Reliving the moment it all went wrong...

  .Knowing it will never be the same.
306 · Jan 2015
Lost
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
Sad feels better drunk.
..
You're gone.
...
Its all my fault.
Now a day I cuddle my bottle to sleep.
...
You're gone.
...
and its all my fault.
301 · Jan 2015
Untitled
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
I love you.
Forever and always.

I lost myself.

Regret filled days pave memory lane.

Months of despair
Misery.

I love you.
I hate me.
And thats the way it ought to be.
290 · Apr 2016
Forgetting you
Philip J Fry Apr 2016
Suffocated by the smell of your perfume.  
Feels like heaven on earth.

I miss your intoxicating kisses first thing in the morning.

You’re forever instilled in my heart and my mind.

Forgetting you would be forgetting part of myself.
290 · Jan 2015
Just like me
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
Each day drifts on like a bag in the wind
Fanatical revolution right outside my window
We inseminated mother Earth with so much artificial filth
yet with her loving embrace she makes it
            Beautiful  
Just like me.
286 · Jan 2015
I <3 U
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
I <3 U
This 4 character response kills me.
I've sweat blood,
Withstood the excruciating pain of rejection time and time again.
Tore my heart out of my chest
Placed it still beating in your hands.
All in the name of love.
You cant even spell the word love out with me in mind.
On a scale from one to ten
I mean less then three to you.
I love you 2.
282 · Jul 2015
Stillness
Philip J Fry Jul 2015
Living my life at light speed.
Never stopping
Never slowing down

Not to sleep
Not to breath

Like a ball off the tee.
Im ready to hit the ground.
Lay still.
278 · Jan 2015
Memory
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
Its funny how in mere seconds a person can morph into a memory.
A distant memory.
271 · Mar 2016
Untitled
Philip J Fry Mar 2016
I sit here patently waiting for the green light to glow
so I'll know
We're in the same place, at the same time

Baby you light up my profile!


This screen turns into prison glass
I can only watch

and listen closely
261 · Jan 2015
Untitled
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
Dreams  
never left to rest.

Somewhere along the line
I forgot how to sleep.

And look at where that got me.
217 · Jan 2015
I
Philip J Fry Jan 2015
I
Look into her eyes
Their violent screams
Keep his mind awake.

— The End —