I want to scream, "Stay away from me!"
But I'm no grenade.
In fact, I'm a poisonous, Scarlet apple.

I want to scream, but I can't
How can I?
After all, a rabbit easily dies of loneliness

I want to scream, "Stay with me forever!"
But I know that would be impossible
What do I really want?

I want to scream, but I lost my voice
I hate seeing you get hurt
So I'll scream without a sound
Hurting only myself

““I wasn't able to do it, I’m sorry.”
I smiled as you scolded me again
“I’m so useless,” I say to myself
But you never noticed any of this

What am I doing?  I’m just wasting my time
But I can’t seem to remember something
Oh well, I’ll just make-up an excuse
I’m used to it anyway

“Imagine a world where everyone can be happy...
But that is impossible, since a world without balance would crumble...”
Another stupid idea came into my mind
But I’ll forget about it eventually

“If I were gone, will I be able to lessen your troubles?”
I had another morbid thought
“...it won’t help anyone if that were to happen...
...although I’d be happy if no one would be affected.”

This feeling of being useless and not wanting to change
It’s stupid, isn’t it?
But I’m not sure what I have to do
I’m not used to being like this

“I think I might end up like that character.”
I said to myself as I watched a movie
“But she’s lucky though...’cuz she was able to help someone...
Even though she didn’t get the expected result...””

Aah, I’m so tired...
All these stories seem so complicated
I’m going to rest for a while
Forget this enigma, and cease this quandary...

On a sleepless night, I decided to write
I sat on my chair with a pen on my hand
Then suddenly, she caught my eye
A maiden whose face isn't unfamiliar.

There she was, standing by me
Staring at me with eyes emotionless
No words were spoken, tension filled the room
I knew I had to break this silence.

"Why are you here?" I asked the woman
She didn't speak but sang a song
Her voice as beautiful as the angels' singing
I felt so warm just by hearing her lullaby.

Though her face looked nothing but lovely
Her coldness pierced right through my body
I couldn't help but feel afraid
I don't want to be hurt by this illusion.

"I know that you don't really exist!"
I spoke these words though unsure if they're true
'Cuz of not wanting to burst into tears
I had shut my eyes, placed my palms on my face.

"Please, no... I don't want this anymore.
Will you just go?... leave and close the door."
My eyes shut tight, I could still see her face
A little bit hazy, but it still had stayed.

"Go away! I don't want to see you anymore!"
These words I've spoken, were true, yet lies
"Your presence hurts me even more,
I do not want to feel you anymore!"

As I tried to make her go
A thought then came into my mind
"If she actually left, wouldn't I feel lonely?"
But then she was something so unreal.

I then remembered, memories from the past
The time when I could still feel her warmth
It didn't make me feel afraid nor hurt
Just pure happiness, though it ended quickly.

I miss her hugs, the warmth of her smile
Her eyes so bright, even under the summer sky
But I know that I can't do anything anymore
I can't bring it back to the way it was before.

"Will you please just leave me alone?"
I said desperately to the woman beside me
"My dearest who have already passed,
Leave me be... don't haunt me anymore..."