I'm not ok
The truth comes out slowly
And I explode
I'm hearing you
But your words don't comprehend
Confused and lost
In a world where everyone speaks underwater
And I above
Forgetting where to turn
Or what's around that known corner
Having everything
But only remembering nothing
Silence sounds like screaming
And I'm not ok

I am a broken pile of destroyed cells,
I sit in the darkest corners of the room,
No one can see me,
I like it that way,
The cold breeze drifting across my torso and up to my shoulders,
Running across my chest and neck like a silk scarf,
I was once used,
Once loved,
Once cared for,
I was once somebody's,
Then that somebody left,
Left me broken,
And now I am a pile of destroyed cells who sits in the darkest parts of the room

I can hear there indistinct voices chattering above my ceiling
Their laughter is like nails on a chalk board screeching in my ear
To think that she can share the same laugh with another man...

Just sit in seldom,
No one will ask questions,
No one has to know,
They won't care,
They never seem to do...

Just sit in seldom,
It's better that way,
A million thoughts playing ring around the rosy in your head,
They all drop and fall,
A migraine takes the games place,

Just sit in seldom,
Pretend to be focused,
Pretend to know what's happening,
Nod and agree,
That's the best way to fake being, "ok"

My job was to watch over you like a hawk,
Eyeing up what your next move will be,
Telling you from right and wrong,
Restricting your bad ideas
Making every choice for you but making it seem like it was yours,

No one else wanted to take care of you,
No one could,
Take care of you...
They saw to many problems,
They didn't want to help you because it would take to long,
But I had time,
I had all of the time in the world,
China's time and California's time, Alaskans time and your time,

It was a gonna be a tough road ahead,
But I was ready,
With you by my side,
I held your hand,
And told you that everything is gonna be alright,
Not knowing what was ahead,
But hoping that everything would play out like I planned.

The moon killed the sun this morning,
I woke up and found its pieces scattered across my landscape of preferable vision,
it's shining light burnt my irises.

A million little lightning bugs floated to the ground,
tiny adolescent flames lit up the yard,
an explosion of beauty the world wasn't ready for,
but I was...

Those words we use to speak to each other so fluently are now harsh lashes to my flesh,
My shield covering my body now seems to be the color of black and blue,
We no longer speak in fluent tone,
For the tone we speak now is foreign to one another,
My good intentions seem to be your biggest fear,
Words coming from another body but all I get are the harsh lashes to my flesh