You ever meet someone and think
I could love you
The easy to love type person
The type of person who knows you without really knowing you

Deceased
Dead
Lungs out of service
Liver out of whack
Trachea contracts
Lifeless

Wake up
Rise and shine
Baby’s breath
Crying in the middle of the night
Crying just to make sure we are still alive

For everyday
We are born again
Born again into the next 24 hours
16 hours spent sleeping
2 hours spent pondering
3 hours spent wandering
1 hour spent grocery shopping
30 minutes spent driving
40 minutes spent talking
50 minutes spent relaxing

Redo
Restart
Reboot

Discard the memories
Settle them into your pillow
Skin cells shed into your sheets
Yesterday’s hair strands weave into your clothes
For everyday we are born again
Peel off the clothes
Rinse off the regrets
Spray on the hope
Tie your hair up in a bun
Step outside and shut the front door

Two hands on the bars
Right hand leans too far back
Whiskey throttle
Adrenaline ****** hits the fence post
Wheelie by default
Error in the process
Whiskey throttle
Everything realigned
Restart
Reboot
Try again
Power off
Shut down
Switch user
Try again
Sorry no internet connection

Whiskey throttle
Lost control
Can’t contribute to the parade in the front yard
Take the cigarette out of your uncles fingers with dirt engraved under his nails
Light up
Inhale
Breathe out
Repeat
Exhale
Toss out
Whiskey throttle

Grass stained elbows
The most important part
Ligaments reattached
Reassembled
Ensemble of instruments clashing in your ear
But to the ones watching
All they hear is the motor and the birds
You can hear his menacing laugh
Like a unforgettable business deal
Reach arm
Shake hands
Hold tight
Place other hand on top
One more shake
Release
Shame
Mistake
Revenge
Whiskey throttle

headache- Pop two Advil
But we can do better than that

Down the whole Advil bottle with a handle of jack
and whiskey throttle into the worlds atmosphere

Stepping into the black hole that holds your life in fragments of their soul
Speeding in the fast lane riding in a limousine
When you’re the only passenger on board

The moon may seem like a cool place to venture
But give me the sun so I can sense what it feels like to be the center of attention and revolve into the shotgun of his heart

To burn and no one says anything about it because that’s the way the cookie crumbles

And no one knows how fresh that bakery is down the street on mars because it all tastes good so no one questions it

That’s funny though, isn’t it?
If everything is going as planned
And nothing is wrong
Life’s sweet memories taste sweeter than the last
And there’s never a bitter taste on your tongue, or in your brain,
No one questions it

But as soon as the sun stops shining into your tinted limousine
And the cookies aren’t as fresh as they used to be
We get all fussy and bent out of shape and start trying to fit the wooden square into the circle imprint
And wonder why the hell its not going in,
Our brain matter turns into the static of that old tv
And our eyes get flustered
Things start looking fuzzy
When we awaken after a long nights sleep and everything is blurry

A morphine drip hanging above our bed inserted into our arm
Anesthesia shoved needles into limbs

look I get it
We think we deserve better than the last
“You can do better than that”
But what if the last thing was the best thing
And what if,
it doesn’t get any better than that?

The girl with the mood ring and curly hair skimming her lower back,
Doesn’t quite know what her style is but goes with the calling of the wind,
she told me “This life is not long lived yet, but the longest I’ve ever lived”
Mentality always of older descent
Descending into the world she knew and loved  

Always told she looked older
Old enough to have lived two lives
Old enough to know that “If you drown, at least you know you’re headed to shore”
Washed up into someone else’s mind
daydreaming of you in their frontal lobe
Dreaming of the day you become theirs

They seem to be always looking into life’s review mirror
Can’t get enough of the past-
life the past life
The one you lived before you took ownership of a new body
Signed the papers and checked the right boxes
Revising the one you have now
And reviewing the applicants working papers

She was the temporary occupant of the glass house
The one you can throw stones at because now it’s bulletproof
Vest protects you from the gunshots to the heart
since learning from the first life that not everything is handed to you except the rolled up grass in his tiny shed
That’s when she said you’ll never really know the real me
With the rules circling the air that left is law
Unless you went down the right path
Then you’ll never know us outlaws

In-laws ricocheting their gavel on the podium
They are the real judges
The ones who eye you up and down
Tell you your eyeliner is too thick
And your jeans too ripped
But you tell them
My eyes are black so I can keep your shiny,
fake, plastic-wrapped sight out of mine
jeans ripped so I can practice on how to sew your mouth shut

Nicotine just to fall asleep
Body heavy soaking into the queen size mattress
Soaking up the words of her parents the ones who raised her to be hell bent
Waking up to the soaking wet pillow from sweat
Or maybe those are tears...
From the nightmares she so desperately craves like a hole in her head
Ain’t no bulletproof vest for that
10 when the parents split up
16 when she thought she knew what Love was
17 when she really knew what Love was
18 when she laid down in an open field with vultures circling around her
Merry go round of men
Picking at her hip bones and thighs like it was nothing
Taking the best part and moving in on their next ****
But was it their fault if there next ****-
Was already dead....

First thing when I rise

Devine beautiful mastermind
Badass twisted reckless *******
Chivalrous charismatic being
Grass inhaled and exhaled-
exhibition of your minds greatest works on the biggest ***** of their bodies

Trusted and tender
Passionate pitter of his vocals trickle into my ear
Zoning into his eyes
Dark and soulful
Locked in and uncontrollable involuntary hands move swiftly across colored skin

Secrets swivel through the air
So sell me your sweetest memories
Tell me your worst
I’ll prepare

Aligning our aliens
Parallel parking in the third eye
Dismember her heart
Reassemble the right way
Getting their fix off one another  

Rough rendezvous
Right place
Right time
Tattoos intertwine
Awakening between the sheets of her mind

Reciprocating the rawness of his past times
Renegades seeking retribution

Last thing when I fall

Thought I needed you
Thought I depended on you
Thought I had to have you by my side to live and thrive through this life

Oh but I was so wrong
A good kind of wrong
I have proven myself to be independent and strong without you
It’s like I was driving down the highway early in the morning before the sun decides to come out
It’s pouring rain & I couldn’t see
And the clouds lighten up,
I can see but it’s still dark
I can see,
but barely

The crazy thoughts going around in your hotel room
It’s a mad house
A Delusional dramatic fixated being
It was fine until it wasn’t.
It was good until it stopped being beneficial
Big words and lost creativity
It’s fun to write, they said in her brain,
And she agreed
I can’t stop it
It won’t stop
It never stops
Never comes to a halt
My voice and thoughts always seem to be trapped in a vault in which I did not own the key
And the day I held it in my hand
I was free