Yowza, when I met you I was knocked off of my feet
Must’ve been that semi that had a brush with me
That was the beginning of our life together
A brush with death through the heather

Yowza, our second date
Was just as great
We were chased by a murderer
I was jealous - I’d never heard of her

Yowza, we locked our doors extra tight
As we got into bed that night
The both of us didn’t get much sleep
And the next day, we didn’t have much to eat

Yowza, I think she might’ve been the crazy ex you’re always talking about
The one that has our house programmed into her GPS route
She left a human head on our front porch
For reasons unknown, it was strangely scorched

Yowza, you closed the door quickly and brought it inside
The voice within me told me to hide
You smiled at the lifeless sockets
And you went and got a box of small rockets

Yowza, in the backyard you began a Satanic ritual
Telling me to sell my own soul
With a blood sacrifice, you opened a portal to Hell
I thought for sure this was a tale I wouldn’t be living to tell

Yowza, how did it all come to this?
I refused to sacrifice the head but you insist
I hope this proves my love to you
As I lay in the center of the circle for proof

        Yowza, the head began to glow and vanished in flame
When Satan came up, he spoke your name
“This sacrifice is not enough for me.”
And you turned to the only thing you could see

       Yowza, I resigned myself to being shoved through the gates of Hell
      All’s well end’s well
      Almost everything except
     You got back together with your ex

     Yowza, roses are red and I am blue
    One day, I’ll drag you down here, too

I am on the street every day. Holding a chunk of cardboard, standing on the strip of street right in the middle, pretending I’m okay. Every day, I am hungry, chilly, alone. The winters are the worst without a home. The summers are almost as bad, but I can tolerate the weather then. However, in the winter, I am weary and thin. I don’t know how I make it by, no lie. My stomach would scream if it could, but instead it is reduced to lowly growls because I don’t know where in time my next meal stood. Every day, cars drive by, locking their doors, thinking I want more, shutting me out because I am begging. But what would you do?
What would you do if your marriage fell apart, they completely broke your heart, and you didn’t know how to save it? What if you lost your job to alcohol and depression and you can’t recover because you’re hesitating, and you end up thrown out? Thrown out of the small place with the dingy light over it because you can no longer afford the roof over your head- you know you’re dead. Pushed out, shoved out, called out, because higher classes of society lock their car doors at the sight of you, change to the other side of the street too because they think you’re going to cause them harm. How safe they are, in their small bubble without trouble, how nice it would be to live a life just that easy.
The homeless shelters always put me in a box, force me to be something they see me as - it *****. A thief and a lowlife someone who never had a kid or wife, someone who’s beyond hope, someone who wields a knife. And I’m scared because maybe they’re right. Maybe I am the one who wanders out in the night, hoping to give families a fright because desperation overtakes the body when you make this many mistakes.
The Walmart employees alway glance at me, don’t judge what I buy. I’m just getting what I can to get by, so I can stay high and away from reality, but no matter, I can’t escape me. I can’t escape myself and the things that I’ve done but c’mon, maybe you could with some cents - just one.
And maybe at the end of the day, I won’t give up hope. Maybe I’ll buy some patches to stop my habit made of smoke. Maybe one day, I can crawl out of this cold, and maybe right then, I’ll finally be whole.

Take a breath and just-
Pause
And think and wait
Just remember, it’s not too late
You can solve this in a myriad of ways
I promise

I easily forget things
I can’t remember what I had to eat last
I can’t remember a lot of the past
My childhood was blurry because I was always in a hurry
I was always so busy running and playing tag, avoiding all my mother’s nagging

I don’t easily forget things
I can’t easily forget about people like yourself, your tongue, your teeth, your mouth
Fingertips and hands
Your hand in mine was the only sign I need
I’m so easy to read

I easily forget things
I can’t remember all of the songs I’ve heard
Can’t remember all I’ve learned
I can’t recall what I’m wearing
Ignore all the people staring

I don’t easily forget things
I don’t easily forget things like your smile, your eyes, your hair
How when I wake up in the morning, you’re not there

I easily forget things
Who I am, what I am
What I can do, what I can’t

But I can’t forget you

So you’re saying you’d rather not tell us anything.
     Hide away the pain every day because you think it doesn’t make us worry more
     What about me?
     Can you see what you’re choosing to do?
     Something that you don’t want to, pretending to be okay when you’re really not just so you’ll become an afterthought.
     Do really believe you’re not special in any single way, hope to any God, you pray that you’re going to be okay
     What about us?
     What about the promises you said when we were talking of our love, is that dead? Is it really that really difficult to love me, have you lost your head?
     You go to bed every night with a broken heart but every day you grow more numb because you won’t even start to give yourself a chance to heal because you’re scared it’ll break you again, a seal on your lips, zipped shut.
     Maybe you stare at the gun in the corner every night and want to cry because you’re so lost and you don’t know why but your eyes are dry
     Because when you broke that was the last time you felt tears stream down your face, built up a wall in haste against everything
     Against the world, against yourself, against me, against feelings, against healing, against sanity.
     You forgot that you’re kind, you lost your mind, drowning in the sound of nothingness, you tried to keep adrift but you just couldn’t
     On rainy days you stand out in the backyard, hair dripping as the sky cries, clothes soaked as you’re lost in thought because you just cannot deal with yourself.
     You live alone in your world but as soon as someone tries to approach you, you’ve curled yourself up into a ball, shoving them away to say ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’
    You’ve learned to protect yourself against the world even though you were perfect before, an angel but you just ignored that you were because you didn’t believe it, but now you kinda need it
     Because you’re wearing yourself so far down that even the kingdom in your mind has rejected your crown, your rule, you’re hoping you can jump in a swimming pool, a lake, a river, a body of water, and drown, sinking into the deep
     But it’s difficult when you fall asleep because everything you ever get is nightmares but when you tell people, it seems like they don’t care but I have and always will so no need to take those stupid pills just come fall into my arms you won’t come to any harm don’t be alarmed because we’ll be okay
     Yeah, we’ll be alright if by the break of daylight you can soundly fall asleep and you’ve had enough to eat so your skeleton won’t show, not that anyone would know but me
     Because I see through your act, all your costumes and masks all your brave attempts to hide just what lays inside because I know you
     No matter what you do, slash and burn me, I’ll still love you even if to you I’m a tool
     Destroy me just so long as you can preserve your best self, and lay my body to rest on the ‘Used’ shelf because I don’t want you to be bruised from the times I hurt you
     At least I died knowing you love me too.

Keep this chill out of my bones
You’re not around as much anymore
To talk to me when I’m lonely or bored

Wrap your arms around me like silk
And wipe away the stars that fall from my eyes