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I write so hard you can call me ambidextrous
'Cause I'm left handed like a liberal glove
I'm the goat

I ball so hard you'd think I have titanium testies
I'm like the second coming of LeBron
I'm the goat

My game is so strong I'm like if the Monopoly Man was hot
I got pull like a big *** magnet
I'm the goat

I'm so far at the top it's like I'm always spinning
I spin cause I got so much motion
I'm the goat

I am you, you're the goat too
Doubt is just the voices of your haters trying to drag you down
The only person you need to listen to is yourself
You're the goat twin
Kingston Bao Apr 3
Used to spend money on accident call that Poorette's
But now my bread get so long you can call that a baguette
I made 30 racks I said "Oh my golly gee!"
My brother saw my money and said "Hey man pass the cheese!"
I robbed a girl scout and I made her cry
Cuz I stole her bag but now mine's sky high
Get that bag
Get that bag
Get that bag
Get that bag
Kingston Bao Apr 3
Have you ever seen a duck
They lowkey make me mad
Waterfowl ****
All of them are bad

Air birds are better
You can't deny
Pigeons will deliver a letter
A seagull will just eat your fry

Ducks are also weird
All they do is quack
At least a cockatoo can grow a beard
Also a duck will demand your snack

This is why ducks are bad
All they do is make me mad
Kingston Bao Apr 3
In the stripped club
straight up jorking it
and by it
I mean
my peanits
Waffle House is America.
Not the version we sell on post cards,
the real one.
the raw one.

The one that limps,
Laughs,
Fights,
Forgives,
And keeps the grill hot.
Through it all.

It is poetry.
It is art.
It's everything this country is meant to be:
Messy, soulful, and built for anyone that enters the door.

Because inside that yellow box by the interstate
there are no velvet ropes,
no VIP section,
and nobody is any better than anyone else.

In one booth could be a millionaire is a white pressed button-down
Who's on the phone with his divorce attorney.

In the next, a man counting his ruffled-up dollar bills
So he could buy a cup of coffee and a single scrambled egg.

In another, two teenagers on their first date
Sharing a laugh over a stack of chocolate-chip waffles.

And in the back corner is a woman crying softly into her hash browns
As her entire world splits apart.

The cook's name might be Rico, or Janice, but they've worked here for 16 years, survived 14 fistfights, and fought through 3 hurricanes.

Your server refers to you as honey
While she smokes a Newport in the alley out back

And there's a jukebox in the corner
That'll only plays songs that make you feel like the love of your life just left.

The A/C never works,
the coffee tastes like burnt ambition,
and the menus have the same stains as they did in your childhood.

And somehow in the midst of all that dysfunction,
there's peace.

I've been to Waffle House more times than I can count.
After good nights,
After bad ones,
After breakups,
After funerals,
At 3 P.M. with my friends,
And at 3 A.M. with my demons.

There have been times I haven't even known what I believed in.
But I always believed in Waffle House.
I believed in those yellow tiles.
The cracked seats.
That ancient jukebox.
And that first bite of my hotcake that tastes like stability and chaos.

Waffle House is the last American sanctuary.
It's the great equalizer for all.
It doesn't care who you voted for,
How much you make,
Where you're from,
Or how broken you feel that night.

It just asks, "How do you want your eggs."
And that right there, is gospel anyone can get behind.

Because when everything feels like it's unraveling,
Waffle House stays open.
When your relationships fall apart,
Waffle House stays open.
When you fall apart,
Waffle House stays open.

It's not just a restaurant.
It's a time machine,
A therapy session,
A last resort,
A first date,
A second chance,

And a middle-of-the-night reminder
That you've made it this far,
And maybe. Just maybe. You will make it a little further.

When the streets are empty and you're phone's gone quiet.
When every friend and family member is asleep.
When every bar is closed.
When that person that you desperately want to respond doesn't,

Waffle House does.

It won't need a reservation, and it won't ask questions.
It just pours the coffee, drops the plate,
And lets you exist exactly as you are.

The final light when everything else has gone out.
The flicker in the fog.
The open door at the end of the night.
The last neon moon of America,
That I pray never sets.
-Michael Bowman
Icl
Ts
Pmo
Fr.
Ikiab
Sybau
Rn.
Ikr.
I dash to my throne
Like a mad monarch
My feet land on my bathmat
Like an astronaut on the moon

I SLAM! the door behind me
To encumber myself in my privacy
My pants dissolve into a world of unknowns
I seat myself, ready for the inevitable rush

Here it comes,
The liquid gold
I'm filled with relief
But then, I feel it.

The ****!
The dark, dastardly dung!
The big brown beast!
It rushes out with the force of 100 tsunamis.

My mood, previously joyous,
Has been thoroughly and entirely
*Soiled.
Slimer? That's what they called me in high school
Kingston Bao Apr 3
A tongue is like a sword
It can do a lot of damage
But if you're too scared to use it it's useless
It can also be an instigator of war

Please do not put swords in your mouth
They are too sharp and it will really hurt if you do
Don't ask me how I know
Ok I'll tell you

One time when I was 8
I found a sword at Goodwill
I thought it looked mad tasty
So I ate it

I was right it did taste good
But also it hurt
That really ******
But I'm better now

I might put another sword in my mouth
Yeah I'm gonna do that right now
Mmm tastes good
Ow oof ouch too pointy

THE END

— The End —