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May 12 · 35
Gurt
Kingston Bao May 12
Me: Yogurt
Gurt: Sybau ✌️
✌️: What did I do
I: Bro ***
***: Hey man what's up
man: Yo gurt you're so wrapped up in your own vanity and self-centered nonsense that you're missing real connection with all of the people around you. Soon everybody who cares about you will vanish and you'll be left with nothing but emptiness and memories of a wasted life.
Gurt: mb bro
bro: You didn't do anything to me
Me: Yeah so why are you bringing me up

THE END
Kingston Bao May 10
Pull up with the Desert Eagle that's the wind beneath my wings

I'm 50% money 50% grind and 100% real. That's 200% cause I'm double the man y'all will ever be

Call me a warlock the way that tequila's my Patrón

A watched *** never boils so I steep my kettle with a timepiece you could say I'm clocking tea

Feel like a Costco hotdog how I'm long and reliable

Call my opps schemes the way I'm laying them out

Call me the Undertaker the way people be seated when I ring

I cook so hard call me kung fu how I make a pan done

Freestyle
May 10 · 32
Dracula Flow
Kingston Bao May 10
Call me constipated and celibate the way I don't give a **** or ****

Girls be talking about "smoking's toxic for your body" how about we talk about your last relationship

I lied I never smoke I'm so far up what gets you high brings me down

My haters started pocket watching and said I'm taking estrogen the way my racks are growing

Your girl got employee of the month at the farm cuz all she do is hoeing

I must've been a dog in my past life ask me if I know Pavlov I say it rings a bell

I'm like All Might the way I make symbols with this piece

Pulled up to your hood and the lint didn't even know you

Visit Italy every autumn call that the Fall of Rome

Freestyle
Apr 29 · 64
Not for me
Kingston Bao Apr 29
They're writing songs of love
but not for me

The lucky stars above

are not for me
And though I can't dismiss
The memory of her kiss

I guess she's not for me
SHOUTOUT CHET BAKER THE GOAT🗣
Also @Peter Gerstenmeier
Apr 28 · 182
Buffalo
Kingston Bao Apr 28
Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo
This is grammatically correct
Apr 25 · 237
Wizardry
Kingston Bao Apr 25
Call me an evil wizard
The way I'm a neck-romancer

Your maiden calls me warlock
'Cause I gave her an Eldritch Blast
Kingston Bao Apr 22
Call me crazy
The way I straight jack it
-Socrates
Kingston Bao Apr 12
Waffle House is America.
Not the version we sell on post cards,
the real one.
the raw one.

The one that limps,
Laughs,
Fights,
Forgives,
And keeps the grill hot.
Through it all.

It is poetry.
It is art.
It's everything this country is meant to be:
Messy, soulful, and built for anyone that enters the door.

Because inside that yellow box by the interstate
there are no velvet ropes,
no VIP section,
and nobody is any better than anyone else.

In one booth could be a millionaire is a white pressed button-down
Who's on the phone with his divorce attorney.

In the next, a man counting his ruffled-up dollar bills
So he could buy a cup of coffee and a single scrambled egg.

In another, two teenagers on their first date
Sharing a laugh over a stack of chocolate-chip waffles.

And in the back corner is a woman crying softly into her hash browns
As her entire world splits apart.

The cook's name might be Rico, or Janice, but they've worked here for 16 years, survived 14 fistfights, and fought through 3 hurricanes.

Your server refers to you as honey
While she smokes a Newport in the alley out back

And there's a jukebox in the corner
That'll only plays songs that make you feel like the love of your life just left.

The A/C never works,
the coffee tastes like burnt ambition,
and the menus have the same stains as they did in your childhood.

And somehow in the midst of all that dysfunction,
there's peace.

I've been to Waffle House more times than I can count.
After good nights,
After bad ones,
After breakups,
After funerals,
At 3 P.M. with my friends,
And at 3 A.M. with my demons.

There have been times I haven't even known what I believed in.
But I always believed in Waffle House.
I believed in those yellow tiles.
The cracked seats.
That ancient jukebox.
And that first bite of my hotcake that tastes like stability and chaos.

Waffle House is the last American sanctuary.
It's the great equalizer for all.
It doesn't care who you voted for,
How much you make,
Where you're from,
Or how broken you feel that night.

It just asks, "How do you want your eggs."
And that right there, is gospel anyone can get behind.

Because when everything feels like it's unraveling,
Waffle House stays open.
When your relationships fall apart,
Waffle House stays open.
When you fall apart,
Waffle House stays open.

It's not just a restaurant.
It's a time machine,
A therapy session,
A last resort,
A first date,
A second chance,

And a middle-of-the-night reminder
That you've made it this far,
And maybe. Just maybe. You will make it a little further.

When the streets are empty and you're phone's gone quiet.
When every friend and family member is asleep.
When every bar is closed.
When that person that you desperately want to respond doesn't,

Waffle House does.

It won't need a reservation, and it won't ask questions.
It just pours the coffee, drops the plate,
And lets you exist exactly as you are.

The final light when everything else has gone out.
The flicker in the fog.
The open door at the end of the night.
The last neon moon of America,
That I pray never sets.
-Michael Bowman
Apr 11 · 221
Ts pmo
Kingston Bao Apr 11
Icl
Ts
Pmo
Fr.
Ikiab
Sybau
Rn.
Ikr.
Apr 9 · 127
Untitled
Kingston Bao Apr 9
Slimer? That's what they called me in high school
Apr 7 · 74
Daily Affirmations
Kingston Bao Apr 7
I write so hard you can call me ambidextrous
'Cause I'm left handed like a liberal glove
I'm the goat

I ball so hard you'd think I have titanium testies
I'm like the second coming of LeBron
I'm the goat

My game is so strong I'm like if the Monopoly Man was hot
I got pull like a big *** magnet
I'm the goat

I'm so far at the top it's like I'm always spinning
I spin cause I got so much motion
I'm the goat

I am you, you're the goat too
Doubt is just the voices of your haters trying to drag you down
The only person you need to listen to is yourself
You're the goat twin
Apr 3 · 61
Words
Kingston Bao Apr 3
A tongue is like a sword
It can do a lot of damage
But if you're too scared to use it it's useless
It can also be an instigator of war

Please do not put swords in your mouth
They are too sharp and it will really hurt if you do
Don't ask me how I know
Ok I'll tell you

One time when I was 8
I found a sword at Goodwill
I thought it looked mad tasty
So I ate it

I was right it did taste good
But also it hurt
That really ******
But I'm better now

I might put another sword in my mouth
Yeah I'm gonna do that right now
Mmm tastes good
Ow oof ouch too pointy

THE END
Apr 3 · 78
I hate ducks
Kingston Bao Apr 3
Have you ever seen a duck
They lowkey make me mad
Waterfowl ****
All of them are bad

Air birds are better
You can't deny
Pigeons will deliver a letter
A seagull will just eat your fry

Ducks are also weird
All they do is quack
At least a cockatoo can grow a beard
Also a duck will demand your snack

This is why ducks are bad
All they do is make me mad
Apr 3 · 160
Get that bag
Kingston Bao Apr 3
Used to spend money on accident call that Poorette's
But now my bread get so long you can call that a baguette
I made 30 racks I said "Oh my golly gee!"
My brother saw my money and said "Hey man pass the cheese!"
I robbed a girl scout and I made her cry
Cuz I stole her bag but now mine's sky high
Get that bag
Get that bag
Get that bag
Get that bag
Apr 3 · 67
Literally me
Kingston Bao Apr 3
In the stripped club
straight up jorking it
and by it
I mean
my peanits

— The End —