I lost my land
a beautiful land it was
how the earth smells after rainfall
the ants in the forest

I lost my land
a beautiful land it was
trails of phosphoresence in the dark velvet sea
still bear the imprint of me

I lost my land
a beautiful land it was
I cannot name it
its sounds are too soft for here

I lost my land
I keep it in my head
in a place named secret
I keep it in the pockets of my heart
the left hand deepest part
I keep it in my eyeballs
always

I lost my land
a beautiful land it was
I was my land
my land was me

I lost my land - but then I found it
they kept it all this time in the lost and found
they kept in the borderlands
in cold town
they kept it with a view to both the old and the new
they kept it with such care

I lost my land - and then I found it
I found it down an avenue framed in autumn gold
amongst the hills of old
I found it safely homed
I found it on the landing
between two people
between two worlds

I was with child
I am still with child twentyone years on
But I worry so
I worry for you

I fear the world
My worry is as big and dark as the moon
    ( darker
        bigger )
What might this world do to you?
what will I possibly do if it does?
I am still with child
I have not the words
for something as dear as you are to me
    ( Please keep safe
         please keep safe )

But - strange circumstance -
last night I saw
you are in the world too
A world all at once so much less menacing
You and World
have somehow become one
And home is where the heart is

My little white dog stops worrying his bone
Looks up
Carries the bone to the old old tree
buries it by the roots
His bone is safe now
white and free

He will return
It is a snug place there
warm earth
warm bone
warm world
with you in it

Do not say a word. Do not explain
Do not make it better.
Do not apologise
Do not voice a sound.

Just write down what you did.
just write

You will write and I will scream
You will write while I scream
You will do as I say
You will just write.
I will provide the soundtrack.

I will scream
just scream
until I’m unable to scream any longer

Then I will be quiet and you can rest.

Then I will scream again
I will just scream
till I can no more
Then I will be quiet

Then I will scream
and so it will go on
That is how it will be.

You will not leave
You will not move
You will NOT touch me.
You will not say a word

I will scream and you will sit
You will not turn away
You will not move
You will not sleep
You will stay
There.
You will not leave.

This is my scream.
It is all that is left of me.

Hear it.