I don’t know
What im doing anymore
I had this all planned
Our big boy
And his little sister
Had names picked
A white dress all sparkly new
The rings waiting in a box
And now
None of that
Matters
Cuz I guess
She knows what shes doing
And you like her plans
more

you said forever, but
you lied, so i
replaced you with someone
who lied better

he made me feel loved, and
he, was grateful
and he was kinder than
you ever was

instead of his hands he
used pretty words
but in the end, you all
leave, the same marks

and im not sure, which kind,
which hurt, felt worse
but i promise, this time
i will learn

never again
will i consider, this lie
this concept,
the promise of forever

I am over you
But I am not
Healed from what you
Put me through
I want to move on
But I can not
Trust anyone
Enough to
I want someone new
But I know I can not
Love anyone
Like I used to love you
I need someone here
To hold me at night
When im alone and
Thinking that this life
Just might
Not be worth the fight
But I can not be held
Without wishing it was by you
Even though I know
That for my own health
I can never again be held by you
And its time to find someone new

He is my sunshine
With his big blue eyes
And thin blond hair
His toothless smile
And bubbly laugh
He is my world
My everything
That no one
Can ever take away from me
From the first kick
To his last breath
Hell be mine
When im gone
Ill live on
In his heart
And the most treasured
Of his memories
Just like
He will always be
In mine

I am
About to cry
Again
2 years with you
And you’ve seen me cry
How many times?
More than
The rest of my life
All combined
I never cry
It makes my
Eyes burn
And nose run
My words short
My throat tight
Unable to capture the
Flow of my words right
But here I am again
Almost 5 am
The baby wakes up
At 8
Hes a morning baby
All smiles and
Bubbly laughter
That sounds like
Sunshine….
Not that you would know
Even when youre home
Im the one that
Puts him to bed at 10
And gets up with him at
2, 4 and 8 am
If im even asleep cuz
You like to stay up late
And so did I in
Another time
In another time
We were perfect
You and i
And now youre not even here
And I don’t even know where to go
You’ve left me with nothing
No shelter, no home
No food
No phone…
You don’t answer me
Anyway
Anymore

They are waiting,
In a little black box
Wal-mart rings,
The best we could do
To prove our faith and fidelity

They are waiting,
All cozied in white silk
Snuggled together
Exactly like we should be
For all eternity

They are waiting
For us to remember them
To put them on
To show them off
To all who want to see

They are waiting
For you to come home
And see their rust
And polish them back up
To restore their former glory

They are waiting
Here with me
Like you should be