Ohh NO NO NO NO I don't want your problems
I've got my own problems
You've REALLY got problems
I'm used to my problems
My problems are simple
I wouldn't know what to do with your problems
I can deal with my problems
I've had them for a long time now
I know what to expect
They don't surprise me anymore
It's true for a long time they were really hard
They used to drive me to my wits end
I used to think my problems were special
But now that I've seen your problems
My problems don't seem so bad
And given how comfortable I am with my problems
Ohh NO NO NO NO I don't want your problems
Thanks anyway

It's actually an exquisite feeling
That comes when your emotions are reeling
It's such a profound feeling
That let's you know you are dealing
It's a sense of melancholy
That can make you laugh at your life's folly
It's a feeling for your soul by golly
That in the moment consumes you wholly
It's a feeling you can savour
That can bring your life such flavour
It's really such a favour
That teaches you about your endeavour
It's a feeling I've enjoyed
That in the end leaves me buoyed
It's not something to avoid
That would be devoid
It's good at teaching you life's a game
That there should be no feeling of shame

There is a smell in the Spring
That does within me ring a bell
A strange and curious smell
That rings that bell
A malodorous pungent smell
The scent of spring decay
At a time before May
Deep within the earth in the mud
The earth again renews its blood
The snow has wet and melted
The Flora that dwelt it
The decay seeps up from underground
And leaves a strange smell around
Just for a couple of days
Before the beginning of May

He was here just a moment ago
Where has he gone I just don't know
We just sat and talked for a couple of hours
He and I and a friend of ours
He exclaimed how nice a conversation
Not full of gloom and trepidation
A few days later he had a meeting
With some of his family who had come in greeting
The support of his loved ones to be sure
The love of his mother so pure
They all made plans for him to go home
So at Christmas time he wouldn't be alone
I guess none of us were really aware
How quickly he would pass and leave things bare
The feeling of an empty space
My friend no longer there to take up that place
There was no hell where he was destined
Only a better place like he imagined
And now we all must carry on
Until we get to that place of dawn

Things started out a little rocky between her and I
Each of us in turn at various points with our head in the sky
We each had our separate roles to play
Each of us dealing with our own foray
It was still too early to see eye to eye
Each of us too busy just trying to try
In and out of contact throughout the years
Each of us resolving our own issues and fears
Now that we're both further down the road
Each of us take turns sharing our load
More and more as we speak to each other and share our view
Each of us realizes we are but two
She's further down the road than me
Each of us knows where we are we both can see
We speak our words and sometimes get carried away
Each of us appreciating what the other has to say
We both know we're lucky to have each other
Each of us so glad we have one another
We share a perspective from our own vantage points
Each of us got here through our own checkpoints
Sometimes I lean on her a little heavily
Each of us still living our roles verily
I'm so glad things worked out and she's my friend
Each of us knows we had things to mend
It's so rare to come across someone of like mind
Each of us appreciates our rare find
It's a special bond we share
She's my mom and we both care

I'm not trying to turn lead into gold
That would just be mundane and old
It seems that my life's lesson
And my full time obsession
Is to take a rather negative substance
Or very poor soul sustenance
And turn it into something positive
Or somehow substantive
I really have a rather pessimistic view
And I don't think I see reality askew
But being and seeing like this
Does not really evoke bliss
But I keep trying to do
What might seem awkward to you
It seems this was my souls choice
And I have to be careful what I voice
For I don't want to drag things down
Or ruin and confound
But I have to be real
Yet find a bit of zeal
So I'll continue to alchemize
And somehow realize
That I'm turning lead into gold
As I continue to grow old

It was never something that I felt I need
But always smoked with a sense of greed
Being high was my only aim
It was the way I would play the game
Becoming a pothead was my lifestyle choice
I could always get high and rejoice
Never took a break long enough to see
What it was really doing to me
Always found a reason to justify
Always continued to just get high
In and out of the hospital
Often losing my mind right out of my skull
Then last time in a psychotic episode
I harmed two friends which couldn't be foretold
I had blindly done something of grave consequence
And my life has taken a turn since
Enforced abstinence has shown me now
Just how ill I was getting the why and the how
My life has changed between now and then
I meditate and try to be zen
I guess now there's one thing I know
I won't use again because of how that would go