He was here just a moment ago
Where has he gone I just don't know
We just sat and talked for a couple of hours
He and I and a friend of ours
He exclaimed how nice a conversation
Not full of gloom and trepidation
A few days later he had a meeting
With some of his family who had come in greeting
The support of his loved ones to be sure
The love of his mother so pure
They all made plans for him to go home
So at Christmas time he wouldn't be alone
I guess none of us were really aware
How quickly he would pass and leave things bare
The feeling of an empty space
My friend no longer there to take up that place
There was no hell where he was destined
Only a better place like he imagined
And now we all must carry on
Until we get to that place of dawn

Things started out a little rocky between her and I
Each of us in turn at various points with our head in the sky
We each had our separate roles to play
Each of us dealing with our own foray
It was still too early to see eye to eye
Each of us too busy just trying to try
In and out of contact throughout the years
Each of us resolving our own issues and fears
Now that we're both further down the road
Each of us take turns sharing our load
More and more as we speak to each other and share our view
Each of us realizes we are but two
She's further down the road than me
Each of us knows where we are we both can see
We speak our words and sometimes get carried away
Each of us appreciating what the other has to say
We both know we're lucky to have each other
Each of us so glad we have one another
We share a perspective from our own vantage points
Each of us got here through our own checkpoints
Sometimes I lean on her a little heavily
Each of us still living our roles verily
I'm so glad things worked out and she's my friend
Each of us knows we had things to mend
It's so rare to come across someone of like mind
Each of us appreciates our rare find
It's a special bond we share
She's my mom and we both care

I'm not trying to turn lead into gold
That would just be mundane and old
It seems that my life's lesson
And my full time obsession
Is to take a rather negative substance
Or very poor soul sustenance
And turn it into something positive
Or somehow substantive
I really have a rather pessimistic view
And I don't think I see reality askew
But being and seeing like this
Does not really evoke bliss
But I keep trying to do
What might seem awkward to you
It seems this was my souls choice
And I have to be careful what I voice
For I don't want to drag things down
Or ruin and confound
But I have to be real
Yet find a bit of zeal
So I'll continue to alchemize
And somehow realize
That I'm turning lead into gold
As I continue to grow old

It was never something that I felt I need
But always smoked with a sense of greed
Being high was my only aim
It was the way I would play the game
Becoming a pothead was my lifestyle choice
I could always get high and rejoice
Never took a break long enough to see
What it was really doing to me
Always found a reason to justify
Always continued to just get high
In and out of the hospital
Often losing my mind right out of my skull
Then last time in a psychotic episode
I harmed two friends which couldn't be foretold
I had blindly done something of grave consequence
And my life has taken a turn since
Enforced abstinence has shown me now
Just how ill I was getting the why and the how
My life has changed between now and then
I meditate and try to be zen
I guess now there's one thing I know
I won't use again because of how that would go

Riding my dirt bike all alone
Through the trails I've known
Riding as fast as I could
Through the trails through the wood
The forest and then out to a cliff
A brief little blast on the edge of a rift
The left is the wall solid
On the right an abyss horrid
Pushing my limits
Back in the forest I go
Still riding so fast
Further into the trail I know
Rounding a corner
A branch poked at me
Not wearing body armour
It got me good like a tree
I still bear the scar
Where it reached out its spar

Worn by time my ferrous heart
Flaking and peeling and coming apart
Beating softly while thundering aloud
My hammered out pulse
Alone in a crowd
Snuffed and embered
Yet burning still
A cold small fire
Barely staving the chill
Carrying on
Down the road of life
Not really knowing
Why there's so much strife
Trying my best
To not add to the burden
Dealing with my karma
Just trying to unburden
Learning to just be
Is my new goal
Plying a new path
Like a newborn foal
Developing an interest
In a philosophers way
Learning from zen master's
Is most of my day
Feeling positive
That I'm on the right road
Realizing that my mind
Just needs to unload
This seems to be
What will help my ferrous heart
And to live my life
Without coming apart

Like tumblers and switches falling into place
The things your mind has not embraced
A subconscious disposition
Acquired through years of imposition
Like tumblers and switches falling into place
The things your mind has not embraced
An acquired disposition
Taught through condition
Like tumblers and switches falling into place
The things your mind has not embraced
The mind has been taught
A lifetime of things that are naught
Like tumblers and switches falling into place
The things your mind has not embraced
A shift in perception
Perceives a minds deception
Like tumblers and switches falling into place
The things your mind begins to embrace
Stumbling now onward
With no direction forward
Like tumblers and switches falling into place
The things your mind begins to embrace
Now seeing them fall
Is this the key to it all
Like tumblers and switches falling into place
The things your mind begins to embrace