Oh, I long for the day
When the mirror will show  
And will reflect mine own
I will see a true me
No facades of fakery

Oh, these pieces I carve,
But not a piece of me.
Not a slice of last year,
All a slice for now,
Free of your eyes and mine

you don’t know the price i’ve paid
to stand here before you
head raised high and proud

you don’t know the things i’ve done
to outlive the terrors
to survive the death in my mind
of my mind

all you see is a failure
of your dreams
your hopes

but i’m barely holding
on to my own life

why should i care
for yours?

you haven’t paid the price i have
you haven’t done the things i have
you haven’t killed your hopes
for a chance at a life

you couldn’t understand
(wouldn’t understand)
all
these
thoughts

telling me to mark my arms again
telling me i’m worthless again

why?
i still don’t know
(i wish i knew)

The lights are so bright today
Demanding, glaring, intense.
Our squinted eyes unshielded,
Unprotected from the fluorescents,
Those too bitter in our throats.

But I’ve created a place here
Comfortable, subdued, dusky.
I’ll show you how to be home,
Right here as the stars glow,
Made of light we cannot feel.

For a split second
I see beauty
Rain dripping from leaves
Tumbling and trickling
To the ground
Glistening gleaming bright
A glimpse of a rainforest
And then it’s gone
and it’s
just
cold rain.

I enter the Forest.
Trees tall and broad and fierce,
Branches whipping the storm above.
I want to nap, I say,
Just ten minutes of peace.
The trees accept,
If grudgingly.
I find a bed of sticking brush
And sleep.

When I wake,
It’s different.
The wind is soft,
The leaves are slow,
The sky is sweet,
The trees are smooth,
And I feel
Wonderful.
How long did I sleep,
I ask.
The trees respond,
A hundred years.
They whisper,
Voices soft,
All have forgotten
Your pain,
Your silence,
Your slice of life,
You are dead
To them.

But to us?
You are alive,
For once.
You are home,
At last.
And we?
We will protect you
For always.

Are you out there?
Are you waiting for me?
You are the match to my wick.
Are you reaching for me?
Are you longing too?
You are the beach to my waves.
Can you imagine that?
That you would be
The yin to my yang?
I think of home and it is you.

My soul has found home,
Let down its bone walls,
And received the life’s blood.
Philos is reborn within us!