They say my head doesn't work,
They say my hearing is selective,
They say I'm unmotivated,
They call me lazy,
and stupid,
and fat...
They say I need to eat less,
They say I need to get out more,
They say I need to sleep less,
They say I need to work more,
They say my 3.9 gpa isn't good enough,
They say 29 isn't high enough on the ACT,
They say I'm not trying hard enough,
They say I need to do more with my family,
They say I complain too much,
And hide in my room,
And cry too much...
They say I need better taste in friends,
They say my life hinges on doing better,
They say I need to be better,
At EVERY SINGLE THING.
They say that they wish they'd had no children,
...They say they love me...

They claim to be my parents.

Sometimes, when it's raining,
I find myself watching raindrops
Collecting on a window,
Trying to merge together
And continue onwards,
Down, down, down,
Until the rain picks up,
And the droplets fall
In steady streams,
Like tears from above,
Pooling on the lip
Of the window before
Pushing themselves over,
Down to the puddles below them.
And then I wonder if anyone else
Ever thinks about the life
Of a single raindrop, or knows
Just how beautiful the rain is,
Or realizes the reasons I can
Never stay upset when it rains,
Because sometimes I feel like I'm
The only one who really notices
The raindrops collecting themselves
On windows...

Silently, with tiny beats,
You let me know you're there,
Amidst the fluids and the fat,
Craddled in an un-ending embrace,
I'm just waiting for the day to come,
When you'll emerge to see the world,
And we can hold you in our arms.

I've lived in fear
Of the monster for
So long that I
Didn't even notice
The monster scares
My knight as well

We hate love, we hate hate,
So let's get together and *******

Tell me if I'm over-reacting,
But honestly, should a person cry-
Every single year on their birthday?
Isn't it supposed to be a special day?
With friends and gifts and fun?
Why is it mine always end in tears?
I try so hard to smile and laugh,
But it never fails that the mood falls flat,
And I shrink away, hide myself, disappear,
To try and disquise my choked back tears,
And pretend they're something more than
Sadness and hatred and all my fears.
I'm so done with today, in fact,
I think I'm just going to quit my birthday.