Ashley Haack

Ashley Haack Dec 2014

Animal

I'm a wild animal...
No matter how much I try
I just can't be tame.
Just when I think I've been broken
I lash out and attack
With violent words and razor fangs
And agony coursing through my veins.
This isn't what I wanted.
I'm trying to fit in and be good,
Why wont my old habbits die?
Why wont my wildness fade away?
Why does it linger inside me like scars?
Why can't I be the person I wish I was?

Ashley Haack Dec 2014

Our Future

I was never one to count the stars,
I knew that I never could, so why try?
I didn't like to dream all day long,
Just to lay awake at night wanting and wishing.
I used to try so hard to focus on now,
But then I realized I'd rather look ahead,
Plan ahead, waste my time counting stars,
And whispering with you under the midnight sky,
Instead of being a boring old stick in the mud,
We'll paint ourselves a future with words and gestures.
Together we can create our masterpiece,
And we'll call it Our Future.

Ashley Haack Dec 2014

Mr. Demon

Society thrives when we're catagorized
Under numbers and statistics, stripping us
Of our humanity so as not to grow attached...
We'll, I've got some news for you-
I don't care about the numbers,
Those statistics? Go ahead and shred them,
I don't care how the "system" runs,
You and I, our humanity, it's far to precious
To be stripped away, cling to it with those sharp
Claws of yours Mr. Demon, and I'll do the same,
Together we'll strip off those stupid numbers
And become one with each other.

Ashley Haack Dec 2014

Color

Sometimes I get the feeling I'm not wanted,
That people would be happier if I wasn't in their pressence,
That I should go away and sulk somewhere less public,
Hide my shame and become a wall-flower,
Dissappear into the background of a world
That couldn't care less if I die tonight,
But I don't want to.
I want to be wanted.
I want to be noticed, and present.
I don't care if I make you un-comfortable,
I have just as much right to be here as you do.
I won't sulk alone anymore, I've found true friends
That will be my strength in my moments of weakness.
I found that in this world of drab, dull greys,
I'm sick of blending in,
It's about time I let my true colors shine through

Ashley Haack Dec 2014

Drawing

I've doodled and drawn till my skin's
Smudged grey from graphite,
I've erased and erased till shavings
Covered my floor like a rug,
I've drawn and re-drawn till I think
maybe... maybe it's good enough,
Then I change it some more,
Shade a part again,
Stain my skin some more,
Re-trace lines again...
And I think this time it's just about right,
Not quite, but it's alright,
So I pick up my pencil and
Sign it

Ashley Haack Nov 2014

Heart

My heart's chords no
longer sound melodious.

Ashley Haack Nov 2014

And if I crashed...

How long would it take for somebody
To notice if I drove off the road one night
And just flung myself, car and all,
Into the frosty cold of a snowy ditch?
Who would look for my body if
I never showed up at home?
Who would be the one to call police?
Who would care enough to look for the wreckage?
Who would miss me?
Who would cry?
Would anyone care enough
To even shed a tear
When they pull my corpse
From the ****** wreck?
It seems doubtful to me.
Hardly anyone cares about me
On any given day, what's
The difference if I'm dead in a ditch
Or crying alone in my car after driving
Somebody home? What's the point to
Continuing on when the only one that matters
To me can't even look me in the eyes when
I ***** up and cry...
The only one that never leaves me doesn't
Have much choice, they aren't born yet.