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Ashley Haack Aug 2014
Have you ever noticed the difference,
That a single word can make?
How I'm fine, and I'm alright,
Just don't mean the same?
And how some words are coded,
Embeded with hidden meanings,
Used amongst close friends,
When blunt speech wont do.
How Alien can be one person,
Avenue another,
The Drug meant a sweater,
And Turtle Soup meant ****...
How growing up, life was filled,
With stupid little words,
That you could say innocently,
While meaning so many other things...
Back when school wasn't a worry,
And college wasn't looming over us.
When our weeknights consisted,
Of around-the-house,
Ghost-in-the-graveyard,
And cops & robbers.
Words were so much more than words.
Words were powerful,
Words were strength.
Words held secrets,
A single word could mean anything.
Ashley Haack Aug 2014
They say my head doesn't work,
They say my hearing is selective,
They say I'm unmotivated,
They call me lazy,
and stupid,
and fat...
They say I need to eat less,
They say I need to get out more,
They say I need to sleep less,
They say I need to work more,
They say my 3.9 gpa isn't good enough,
They say 29 isn't high enough on the ACT,
They say I'm not trying hard enough,
They say I need to do more with my family,
They say I complain too much,
And hide in my room,
And cry too much...
They say I need better taste in friends,
They say my life hinges on doing better,
They say I need to be better,
At EVERY SINGLE THING.
They say that they wish they'd had no children,
...They say they love me...

They claim to be my parents.
*I hate figures of authority
Ashley Haack Aug 2014
Yesterday
I drove
Over
The bridge.
Ashley Haack Aug 2014
Tell me if I'm over-reacting,
But honestly, should a person cry-
Every single year on their birthday?
Isn't it supposed to be a special day?
With friends and gifts and fun?
Why is it mine always end in tears?
I try so hard to smile and laugh,
But it never fails that the mood falls flat,
And I shrink away, hide myself, disappear,
To try and disquise my choked back tears,
And pretend they're something more than
Sadness and hatred and all my fears.
I'm so done with today, in fact,
I think I'm just going to quit my birthday.
Ashley Haack Aug 2014
Every year I hope it'll be different,
But still it never changes...
I ******* hate my birthday.
Ashley Haack Aug 2014
C.
Everything I do,
Everything they say,
It all leads back to you...
And your morbid humor,
And your contagious laughter,
And our messed up "family",
And our last days as 8th graders,
And our big summer plans,
And our silly problems,
And our last pictures,
And the forgotten good-byes,
And the 4th of july....
With THE phone call,
And the horrendous news,
And the crying,
And the fireworks...
And the funneral,
And the kleenex box,
And all the crying,
And hugging,
And missing...
All of it...
Because we love you
Theres nothing more to say... I miss you.
Ashley Haack Jul 2014
Yet another realization,
With every passing birthday,
I'm nearing my own death...
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