They say singing is a reflection of your soul.
Maybe that's why I'm a terrible singer.
They also say writing your problems on paper is a way to let your demons out.
Maybe that's why I never have anything good to write.

You're touch reminds me of every other girls touch before.
That's why I'm not gonna chase after you.
I know what the feeling of being lied to is like.
And it rubs off of your hands every time they brush mine.
I won't fall for this again.

Take me into consideration .
When I leave through that front door.
With the screen cracked and the rolling thunder.
Take me into consideration
When I ask you to love me more.
So when I fall asleep in these moments of you and me.
I can at least not wake up in your nightmares.
Take me into consideration.
When the leaks start to fill in the floorboards .
And my neck aches from the cold sweats.
And my heart drowns from the heat.
Let me know I'm doing something right here.
So I don't leave you behind.
With neglect and piled up confusion.
I just want you to tell me you feel the same.
And that you'll take my feelings into consideration .
Because I'm tired of holding them back for Your sake.

We separated.
Drifting apart faster than the content held in every breath I took shouting bee sting sized words at your back,

like the pain would cause you to go into anaphylactic shock and you'd realize you were abandoning a boat we didn't even build on purpose.

You said we should drift off too sea and I agreed.
You said we see things differently and I departed those words from your mouth like they weren't the infection pealing away my conscious everyday we drifted.

I cursed at the tidal waves everyday until I realized our arguments were the reason they started.

And each day spawned a new question faster than the hairs that grew on my face.
And each response fastened a quicker end to our adventures.

You said to stop enjoying the water and enjoy me more often.
But you didn't stop to realize I was staring at you the whole time we were just lost in the ocean and our paranoia was getting the better of us.

And every time we kissed the emotion wouldn't stop slipping.
Because in between the cracks of our lips salt water seeped through the very foundation of this building we had left our hearts with.

It was a change of pace and scenery.
They say losing someone hurts.
But the pain comes from the build up.

I wasn't hurting when you steered the boat to land because you were done with the only fish that kept you sane in the sea.
Or because you needed to find more fish on land to appease your desire
Making me the selfish one of this whole thing.

The process that broke me was watching the waves break us apart and thinking we could survive each one.
But the water become too deep.
And knowing our hearts would only grow apart and never stop drifting.
Put an end to my suffering as the tsunami rained down on us and ended our romantic journey.

And since then we never stopped drifting.

Drowning sensations encircled my mind and swallowed every ray of hope I had of seeing you.
My doubts spoke but never loud enough to choke out the messages I read from you at night.
And no matter how many times you said I love you I could never trust a single one till the last time you said it.
And your goodbyes stung the hardest the moments after you left.
Because I could never register them.
I could never forgive myself for blaming everything on the world and you.
And you were my reason for wanting, to begin with.
I had never wanted
Longed
Benignity
Wistfully
Felt entitled to anything in my life as Much as your love.
And every breath I took added seconds away from the day it'd all be taken away from me.
We both counted down the moon cycles like tiny thumb tacks falling off your moms favorite poster until it cascaded into the ground and she stopped hanging it up.
We were put out to dry because our egos were more of a monster than our imagination at bedtime.
And darling your monsters were always heavier than mine, but at least you had the strength to keep them at bay.
Unlike all the times you watched mine escape.
And because of that I'll never forget that chapter of my life where we argued into the night and scowered our never ending library of mistakes we had marked as UNCONSTITUTIONAL TO THIS LOVE BANK OF AGREEMENTS we never signed.
So I left the dotted lines.
And the ink from all the pens in our house dried.
As your lips parted from mine and I sighed, knowing this would be our last goodbyes.
And I finally saw your demons that night.
Just like how you always put up with mine.
And they were beautiful.
Because they all looked like you.
And I'll always treasure that memory of how we came to thrive off eachothers being.
And how late late at night years after our fighting and constant mood killings and mood swings.
I called you.
Knowing there was always a piece residing in you
That was mine.
I love you.
Goodnight

At this point titles are worthless.
Like my feelings to you.
THROWN UNDER A BUS AND LEFT IN MOTION.
Or at least that's where you've left me.
And I can't imagine this world voiceless.
Or without the lack of your voice in my head.
AND I'LL BE DECEASED EVERYDAY,
BUT I'LL NEVER REALIZE I'M DEAD.
Remove these agitated curses I live with everyday.
Since you left.