Maybe I shouldn't be writing so much?
Its just another way to lose my touch.
In the feeling I want BURIED and gone.
To the memories I want KILLED and WRONGED.
I want to remember a void.
An empty play skape where all I did was toy.
With other people SO THEY'D SEE HOW I SUFFER.
Cause I'm tired of being the ONLY ONE.
Who's light hearted, dead inside,
And DEAD BY THE SUN.
Because darling you're the rays of blistering hope that pierce through the skin in my back.
Because darling you don't love me for me.
But how are you supposed to when I don't even know what love is to me?
And at this point I CAN'T tell.
And I CAN'T SMELL
And I can't SEE
Because darling...
There's something wrong with me.
Maybe the doctors missed it?
Or maybe my parents never brought it up?
But I was born without a soul.
Baptized in HELL and blistered when I reached THIS SO CALLED HEAVEN YOU CALL EARTH.
And maybe just maybe.
I should drift off to sleep.

Do I reply back?
Or do I let go?
Why are my emotions so out of control?
Why do I see ghosts every time something goes wrong?
Its like there's a sign singing me a song.
Its like there's an island out there,
Buried with treasure.
But I'll never find it.
Cause I'm buried in elusive pleasure.
I'm blinded by what I don't have.
Its like a mirage in the sad sand.
Its like dead birds plummeting to the ground.
The sad part is I can no longer hear the sound.
Of the music calling to me.
**** IM TRULY LOST AT SEA.
PLEASE OH PLEASE
SOMEONE HELP ME!
I HEAR THE SIRENS ECHO SOUND
THEY'RE ONLY GETTING CLOSER TO SHUT ME DOWN
TO SINK MY BOAT AND CRASH MY LYFE.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'VE DONE THIS TWICE.
TAKE THE DROWNING FEELING FROM MY HEAD.
AND SINK ME UNDER...
  
So I'm dead...

Things started out so simple.
Loves open heart was a window.
Of unexplored opportunities both humble and nimble.
I'm still young stupid and translucent.
To the eyes of the experienced I'm a nuisance.
A beginner hanging from the ropes.
Caught up in the high hopes.
Of the simple obvious oblivious obliquity, Of lyfes trajectory.
Falling from the sky,
Knowing I'll never reach this high,
Again.
Soon.
Maybe.
Later.
Loves equator.
Has made me sink.
So to the depths cheers.
I drink,
To you.

I wanted to call you and tell you thank for caring and thank you for being here for me and all these other thank you's for being the most open hearted beautiful person I've ever met.
But I didn't want to wake you up because it must be exhausting being perfect. And maybe we don't like the word perfect because its an over exaggeration of the human imagination but you're not someone I would've ever thought of meeting.
So in a way you're an over exaggeration of my own mind.
I want you here for a while. Cause maybe if I could be selfish that's what I'd wish for.

Goodnight, sweat dreams.

I'm moving away today and I'm not coming back.
For the people I love,
The people I live for,
And the people I've lost.
I'm saying goodbye severing my earthly tie.
No matter the denies,
I receive.
But if leaving was never my initial goal.
What pushes me?
The empty void that's sat here and toyed with the emotions I don't have.
I'm no longer annoyed by the simple tasks lyfe demands,
Because they're all the same to me.
Although I lack the necessary motivational pact to move on.
I'm moving away today,
And not coming back anyway.

I think I want to be with you.
I want to cherish the moments we have
Not that I already don't.
If I could allow myself one thing,
It'd be to fall into the deepest abyss of you.
I wouldn't be scared.
Even if that's some type of reassurance for my self conscious,
I wouldn't be scared.
This isn't a fairy tail,
But more like a brothers grim.
I'll get tangled in the captivating woods of your soul.
I'll be devoured by the bewitchment of our love.
If there is such a thing.
I'll let myself only be guided by the light of your sorrows.
Not because I hurt you,
But because I want to find what has hurt you and learn from it.
I can promise I'll  always abide by your side.
And reside by your pride.
I'll never be caught dead in some type of disguise.
Because you don't deserve that type of lie.
And you never have.
So let me fall into your depths of hell,
And I shall crawl out with you.
Let me sink to the icy depths of your frigid ocean.
And I will emerge breathe taken,
Not by the lack of oxygen I was unable to inhale,
But by the breathe taking opportunity I was forsaken with to prevail.
To emerge victorious with the beauty,
You call hell.



Its really heaven to me.

A continuous concord of concurring events.
Draining me of my relevant reoccurring drowsiness.
I wake up in the same bed,
Twisting and yearning for the day it'll all end.
Waiting for the repeat of this tremendous cycle that cyclones with no remorse for the living or dead.
But at least the deceased have a grave for them to rest.
Meanwhile I'm stuck here trying to live in my head.
I share a room with two voices both mutilated and demented from the cemented walls I've put up to defend.
Those who claim they know the secrets to an ally cats fight.
Will surely know the secrets to how I end my flight.
By derailing this inconclusive inconvenienced inclosable train.
To a sanctuary I can never find so instead I submerge in my pain.