I watch it trickle down my arm one more time
I know it wont be the last
It isn't be far the first
The skin
My skin, is now rough
the groves there from years past
and fresh marks from tonight
it feels more like the groves in wood
Not human flesh
the rag soaks up the blood
keeping it out of sight
but always there
i look down
not satisfied with the job I've done
I know this wont be the last.
It isn't by far the first.

That metallic blade
Oh, that sweet little blade
It holds so much
Yet, so little
To most its simply there
Has no meaning
Not a second thought
But to me
And to so many that share the same fate
That stupid little blade
Knows all of my secrets
Feels all of my pain
Takes on what i can't handle
Holds with it so much power
So much that the very thought
Of losing it worries me.
Scares me.
Makes me curl into a ball
Cry in a corner
I'd give my world for it
The little shinny piece of metal
The metallic blade
That holds my world.

Kiss me one last time.
Press your lips onto mine.
Make this count.
Kiss me deep,
Kiss me hard,
Kiss me with everything you've got.
Kiss me,
            Then leave.
Leave and don't ever look back.
Don't look back.
If you did,
You'd see me
                but not the me you know.
I'd be on the ground.
The blood leaving my body.
So kiss me one last time.
Remember this in your heart.
And.
         Don't ever look back.

I carve your name onto my skin.
                                                        Letting the letters sink in.
                                                                                                   Its not out of hate or pain.
                        

                                                     But a love I cannot contain.

My face is red
My eyes are puffy
The mascara runs down my face
I've stopped crying
But the signs are still there
My first thought
        was self-harm
To give myself something else
To think about
          to deal with
Then.
I thought of you.
Now all I want is you
      Your arms whrapped around me
Taking care of me as if I couldn't
Because...
                 I can't.
But the want, the need
              is still there.
I need you more.

Nothing else.
                       Just you.
Everything else.
                            It can wait.

The waters are tinted blue
the deeper the water
the darker the color
i plunge in
the water all around me
it smothers me
for a moment
i cant breath
for a moment
the life is ****** out of me
if only this moment
could last forever
i break the surface
the moment is gone
i'm left wanting more.

Cut my skin
   Let me bleed
Take it all in
   As the darkness feeds