Long day.
Hard day.
Bad day.
You think on the way home from school or work that you will feel better when you get home. You drive down the street and start to think. You think about how your life is ****. You think about how you have told yourself your whole life that it will be better soon. You think about how soon is now and its not better. You think about what to do. Your choices are limited to you but you already seem to know your choice. You walk into your house and walk upstairs into your room. You look in your closet. The rope is still there from when you were moving. You grab it. You throw your bag on the floor. You walk to your bed and sit down. You try to tie different knots and realise you fail at that to. You end up googleing how to tie the knot. You struggle for a few minutes but you tie a noose. You tie the other end to the bar on the ceiling of you closet. You go to the bathroom and grab the stool your little sister uses to reach the sink. You put the stool underneath the rope swaying in your closet. You step up onto the stool. The noose sways on front of you. You grab the knotted rope and slip it over your head. You tighten it. Your heart starts beating faster. Your breath gets heavier. Your thoughts start racing. You feel like you cant breathe. You think to yourself its now or never. You make the decision. You jump and kick the stool back. Your neck didnt break immediately so you struggle. You cant breathe. You have so much pressure on your kneck. You cant breathe. Your back hurts. You cant breathe. Your kneck feels bruised. You cant breathe. You sit there with your arms flailing everywhere. You cant breathe. You decide to quit struggling. You calm yourself. You close your eyes. You let go.