What you wanted
was what you wanted to do
regardless the cost
of what it cost you.

You charged on ahead,
full throttle
no brakes
you never looked back
no pause for second takes.

You wanted what you did
before you knew what it was,
you fooled no one, not even a kid.
And before you knew, it all had pass by,
only a buzz.

You past by those who had come to warn you,
of the dangers you would face,
but you left them behind,
all without a trace.

You mistook them for agitators, hoping to slow you down,
in a sense you were right,
but they were trying to get you to turn around.

And now you're here broken and confused,
you lie there on the cold hard ground,
misguided
abused.

What you wanted,
wasn't what you needed,
when It should've been all the warning signs
of danger
that you should have heeded.

Now you know, that
what you wanted was not the way,
so now is time to make the change.
Make the change to-day.

What you wanted, isn't what you needed,
so get off your high horse,
and don't be conceited.

Where were you,
when I took my first steps?
Where were you,
when I breathed
my first conscious breath?
When I said my first word,
all so very alone,
where were you,
that my hear turned to stone?

You with your "Job",
so busy yet so dead,
where were you,
to tuck me to bed?
Where were you,
to check for monsters in the dark,
where were you,
to drive us for ice cream
in the
park.

Where?

You were gone,
always away,
you were always busy,
you could never stay.
You were nothing more than a blur to me
you were the father,
I could never see.

Then on my fifth birthday,
you gave me a wink,
you left out the door,
not another word
leaving my heart to sink.

Like an eager dog,
I hoped you would return,
but then you left me with
my three other siblings,
but then again,
that wasn't any of your concern.

The only thing that kept
us from being lost in foster care,
was that I was always ready,
even when mom wasn't all there.
With her breath so foul
that it made it seem like a small aroma,
but when she slept, she slept,
like she was in a coma.

But you knew that didn't you?
You didn't find,
the pretty girl you once knew,
she was growing older,
and that just wouldn't do.
So on you moved to some pretty little thing,
you even went as far
as to buy her diamond ring.

Well pa,
I just wanna say thanks,
because now I'm numb,
to all of life's silly little pranks.
I'm more mature than I could have ever hoped to be,
I've taken the parent role alone,
but I bear the mark proudly.

Sure it hurts, when I look at the broken frame,
to think if we were an actual family,
well
it just wouldn't be the same.

You were gone,
gone,
away from the house,
because you're eyes and heart was always wandering,
always free to roam,
while I was here,
in this little place
called
home.

Now look where I am,
as a full grown man,
I'm doing better,
then all the rest say they can.
You've taught me things,
even when you were away,
I don't even regret it,
when you left that day.

You've made me, who I am today,
even in your absence,
you've given me lessons
that I wouldn't dare trade for any other way.

Look us now,
the children you had left on their own,
look at your children, all with their phones.
We grew up with nothing, with a broken house and broken dreams,
but your other kids grew up with everything they wanted,
everything...it seems.

I'm not sorry that it came out like this,
no I'm not even mad,
even on your deathbed, on your forehead I'll kiss,
because you're the only father I've ever had.
I love my other siblings, illegitimate or otherwise,
I'll tell them what I've told the others for so long,
nothing but lies.

So here's my letter,
to you my dear father,
for all the times when I didn't know what to do,
for all the times when I asked
"Where. Were. You?"

Gone.

You've asked me several time,
the simple question, with the answer so hard to find
truthfully.

Why?

"Why do you care,
about what I do,
why do you care at all,
what's it matter to you?"

I stared back plainly, affectionate smile
from mouth to eye,
when you kept standing there,
asking me,
why?

I gave you my hand,
to help you on your feet,
my smile not ending,
you pushed away in defeat.

I disarmed your hostility,
because you could not find blame,
even for an ol' boy like me,
whose smile is...
kinda lame.

Why?

"Why don't you go somewhere?
Don't you have some place to be?
Why are you here!
Why do you care about me?"

I smiled back, but this time my eyebrow raised
just for fun,
when you turned your back on me,
and was about to run.

Before you took another step,
I spun you right around,
and then I wrapped you up
up in a tight hug,
in which you stood, dumbfound!

You wanted to push away,
away from this strange creep,
but all in side you,
you had a wanted feeling so deep.

For Love.

You stood for a second,
a few minutes more,
I wouldn't let you go,
even when you were eyeing the door.

Then you started to cry,
tears starting to flow,
streaming down your precious face,
diamonds falling from your eye.
And yet still you asked me,
the very simple question.

"Why?"

The answer was simple,
but was not all to clear,
I said,
"That's because your my friend,
and I love you so dear."

I held you in my arms,
as you let the tears flow,
and I promised to you,
that I'd never let you go.

I haven't back then,
and I won't start now,
I'll hold you tighter still,
as tight as you'll allow.

I love you greater,
each and every day,
I'll always love you,
like I did back then,
even until now.

Why, you ask,
do I give this love to you?
Because I'm your friend you see,
and that's what friend's do.

So why not?

With the Wind,
as it blows and tosses your hair,
it whispers and giggles in your ear,
without letting you know
that it's there.

It's forever travelling,
around the world of Man,
so much faster than,
and bullet can.

Let there be some sort of understanding,
between us my friend,
as we listen to the laughter of the wind,
as we run with them for they are innumerable.
Take my hand and run with me,
don't mind the ground,
I promise that it's stable.

But with the wind,
it has no set path,
there's no rhyme or reason,
and it can't be solved with simple math.

It is an entity,
all by itself, [themselves?]
raging as it will,
and forgiving when it wants,
always there,
that sometimes taunts.

I'm afraid you'll lose me yet,
as I run with the wind,
as I try to free myself,
running from my past,
knowing, between the wind and I,
that I have sinned.

With the wind
you'll find me,
my name in a mere whisper,
the air that we breath,
brings me that much closer,
to
her.

I give you a brush,
and tell you to paint,
you're no professional,
oh Bless you you saint.

I give you a stick,
and I tell you to fight,
you tell me it hurts,
and I say, "You're right!"

I give you love,
and you don't know what to do,
I hand you my heart,
and all you say is...ew!

Well,
you are who you are,
and I am who I am,
thank God for the that,
and for Uncle Sam.

I won't tell you who you should be,
nor will I guess, on who you could be,
because you are who you are,
and you let me be me!

You are,
a B-E-A-YOUTIFUL person,
inside (and out)
this I say completely,
with nary a doubt!

You maybe scarred,
scared, and blotted,
but there's no soul here,
that hasn't been spotted.

You are unique,
in every sense imaginable,
you've got a way
to turn every head at every table!

You are who you are,
yes sir, there's no denying,
weather you obey the law
or you enjoy defying!

Either way,
you are who you are,
and "What you are is beautiful!"

You Are!