The sun has fallen and the stage is set,
Draped in thoughts and things that will never be.

How will we remember these nights,
These nights of disorder,
Nights of chaos,
Nights that never truly relinquish their hold?

Where stars scar the sky in their albino epitaph ,
And the candles lick the tepid darkness.
Petals on the floor become kicked and soar,
As the dancers waltz forever in time.

They, like the rest of us, know not why they are here,
Every 30 steps they stop and restart.
It is as if they are never there,
Just memories pressed against stage.

Memories that only wish to fade.

A swingset sits in the yard, starkly vacant, silent.
A chair is stationed only feet away—the watchpost of an anxious pepere.
Only days ago I sat there, watching the child of my old age
Swinging, hanging upside down, proving to me and herself that nothing could scare her.
“Watch me,” she commands, daring the gods to do their worst.
All she needs from me is the occasional tribute to her skill.
All I need from her is to bless me with her being.

She is gone now, and there is no help for it.
An empty swing, a useless chair, and the ache of loss.
The swing haunts me with her voice and I listen to it in my mind.
Dante got it wrong.
It isn’t the dead who abandon hope—
Hell is for the living.

One year today.
It's been one year,
since you decided,
to leave 4 years behind us.

There's still a place for you,
here in my heart.
Because I miss you.
And I don't understand,
why you left.

Our cultures are different,
I know that.
But did you really have to take it this far?
Because one year later,
my heart still aches,
every single time,
that I hear a witty remark.

In my mind I think
"Sanish would say that."
Because you would.
Your witty remarks,
kept me on edge,
and kept me happy.
Always wondering,
what would happen next.

What will happen next?

Will you continue your life without me?
Because that, I cannot bare.
There's not a day that goes by,
that I don't think about you.

Remember, when we used to look at the stars?
You would ask me,
if I thought that we're looking at the same ones.
And I think we were.
But somewhere,
I think you lost them.

I still laugh at our stupid jokes,
I still cry thinking about our stupid fights.
I still remember the promises we made,
I still remember you saying that it's alright.

I still don't even understand,
why you insulted me the way you did.
Crushing our dreams was so easy for you,
I can't even believe it, who knew?

You were like a brother to me,
best friends until the end.
I think that's why it hurts so much,
I thought that we were friends.

The nights continue on so slow,
as I search the nighttime sky.
It gives me time to think about,
why I even try.