I don't want to write anymore
it's getting scary as the land grows drier.
what would it take for me to let this go?
-  it's making me weak.

I just want to lie down
feel the Earth
see myself in water
drown myself in sand.

Look deep into the ocean
find friends there
find myself there
and maybe call it home.


I want it to feel like winter blue
or august grey.
But it feels like morning,
after a long cold night.

I want it to taste like 1am
cold, unalive.

I want it to not hurt,
to not feel like it's making me kneel,
to not feel like it'll get to me and I'll never be the same.

I just don't wanna write anymore.