Losing myself
Think I need to recover.
My thoughts on a shelf,
Waiting still to be discovered.
So much giving,
But really I'm losing
The meaning of living
Because it's others I'm choosing.
I offer all I have
Yet still I am bled for more.
No permission to feel sad.
Be in silence, or there's the door.
It is only you that matters to you.
My feelings are cast aside.
Conversations long overdue,
But instead I hold it inside.
It's too much for me to feel this way.
Been burying for far too long.
Yes I'm female. I have things to say.
Or should I put it in a song?
.. Put my feelings in a bottle, on a note for someone to find.
Send it far across the sea.
Better chance of reaching eyes,
Than waiting for you to see me.
I stifled, and I burrowed, and I've shrunk myself way down
To fit the mold you've made for me.
"Quiet, girl. Don't make a sound.
But, hey. I'm only teasing.. "
No time for talk, no time for you, no time for love.
Just prioritize all else above.
Man thinks his importance lies in his ego.
Can't seem to relate, so away we go.
Tether is breaking.
Heart is aching.
Solo I dwell in my mind.
Looking for a way to bind
Our thoughts and emotions,
At least understand
That my love and devotion
Is slipping with your hand.
You pull away.
I feel estranged.
Things don't seem okay.
And you call ME deranged..
Here's to letting go.
Even if I can.
Cling to hope.
Footprints in the sand.
I give up control,
So now I can know
That I'll be okay
Either way.
Change.
Derail.
Be okay with betrayal.
For you can continue
To gawk at the menu.
And hit me hard
With your backhanded jokes.
Then tell me that it's all okay.
Well I guess I don't mind
Being blind.
The truth is ugly anyway.