today
my mother
asked me to try on a shirt
and i said sure
so she said
"take your shirt off"
and i stopped
"will you leave?"
i asked politely, hoping she wouldn't suspect
she bobbed her head
side to side
the universal sign
NO

she saw the red scars on my stomach
the scratches i cut
deep
but not in my skin
she made them deeper
she pretended like they weren't there
but they were
blood red scars
killing me slowly

and i'm shaking
shaking because i dont want to be a ******
i swear mom
i'm not
just help me
please

in the shadowed corners of my heart
where echoes of laughter have long departed
there lies a sorrow
deep and vast
ocean of tears
memories of the past

my favorite hoodie
the biggest one
hide my body
and the pain all gone

!! DISCLAIMER !!
I am not trying to be sexist, homophobic, or racist through this poem. This poem might come off as offensive, or something else, but it is not intended to be this way. I am just sharing my feelings through poetry, and even I was scared to post my own true feelings through poetry. If this poem needs to be taken down, I will do so. If that happens, I will probably post my poetry elsewhere or keep it to myself. Thanks!
!! DISCLAIMER !!

This world we live in
Is confusing to say the least
Why have we changed so much?
Why don’t we stay the same?

Sometime last week
I was shouted at
By a girl
Saying I would never understand her pain
Saying that I
A straight white male
Was so fortunate
And I was offended
But in some ways
It is true

I understand
That my kin
Did unspeakable
Disgusting
Horrible
Things to you
And I know that some of them still happen today
But why is it my fault?
What did I do to you?

You say I have privilege
But what privilege do I have
When must I creep on every word I say?
Every action I take?
Every poem I write?

But before I go on
I want to give sorry
A sorry that my ancestors never could
Even if It doesn’t mean a lot
I still hope it helps

I feel like a circus
I have to entertain the crowd
One wrong move
And I get boos
Too showy off?
And I get boos
So I learn to keep up my guard
Never let my feelings out
Never let my true thoughts go

And to the girl last week
Who shouted at me
Just remember
If the world is against you
It is most definitely
Against me

fly away
fly away with me
don't need the crazy men
i can just me be
with those wings
those butterfly wings

I couldnt wait more that like two weeks to write poetry again sooooooooooo
Here i am

(:

four hijackers
four planes
four men
four craves for violence
to **** us all
all they wanted from us
was death
and violence

two twins
two twin towers
two twin brothers
two twin planes
horrible
horrible day

one man
one fight
one takeover
one crash
he was a hero
he saved them all
but he died
same as the rest

afghanistan

the crazy men
they came again
but this night
it was different
the crazy men
they came again
but tonight
i wasn't free

i wish
my poems were better
people would read them
and think
"what a good poet!"

i wish
that i was better
the best that i could be

i wish
i was cooler
my shoes
my clothes
my hair

i wish
that i was athletic
good at everything

but most of all
i wish
that she loved me
like i loved her

i wish
she didnt say no
and instead
said yes

i wish
i wasnt jealous of her
and the boys she liked

i wish
i wasnt sad
i wish
i wasnt sad

why am i sad
why am i sad
why am i sad

please love me

whispers of twilight
silent and cold
telling tales of days
of love once bold
each passing moment
an endless ache
a heart once whole
now left to break

so fat
so ugly
he'll never get a girlfriend
you're the size of europe!
i hate you
nobody is ever going to love you
nerd
obviously a 1/10
he buys mcdonalds every day!
god you're sickening
you're all so ******* sickening

why are you all so mean
what the **** did i do
and you get mad?
and tell?
and tattle?
when i spread a little truth about you?
well hey mello
just because you're a small little crying boy
dosent mean i am
so get the **** over it
"he said a mean word!!"
*******

well that was mean
but i dont feel bad
because god you're sickening
you're all so ******* sickening

take a spoon
take a knife
the guard can not be looking
lights go out
start to scrape
and out the hole you go

the alarms start to ring
lockdown
it sings
but into the boat you go
and out the prison you go

whispers in the halls
whispers through the walls
they all hate me
and i hate them back

i wish sometimes
that i was them
making a sad boy feel sadder
and sadder
              and sadder
                             and sadder
                                                 until finally
                                                                  he died inside

so if i could say one thing
of most importance
you need to listen.
listen close, my dear
because
             you
                   want
                           to hear this.










*******.

The slurs flow like water
Whenever I try to get you help
They feel like fire
But you don't care
We're still friends
Again & Again
More words
More pain
But if I walk away will you still be ok?

What if you died instead
What if you cried instead
What if I was the one who lied
What if my wounds dried
What if you didn't have black eyes
I wish I hadn't said so many 'whys'
Now it's your turn to say the final 'goodbye'