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82 · Dec 2024
drip
Vesper Dec 2024
drip
drip
the iv tube drips life into his veins
it's the only thing keeping him alive
'alive'
he's alseep
but he'll wake up, right?
i'm sure he'll be ok

drip
drip
the blood drips down the short blade
trying to take his own life
'life'
he'll get over it
he'll be ok, right?
i'm sure he'll be ok

drip
drip
the teachers vicious smile
kills him from the inside
he hates himself
and the teacher too
die
drip
drip
80 · Nov 2024
knife
Vesper Nov 2024
there is knife
on the table
next to me
i'm home alone

988 wont help
neither will my parents
or my friends
or even my dog
they cant help

i'm crying
i need help
but i cant reach for my phone
or the knife
is this good?
or bad

to all my friends
who would never miss me
*******
but to you
my friend
i hope that you
can live a happy life
without me
without knives

so take this poem
as a gift
to keep going
to keep going strong
cause even if i am gone
you arent

the knife is in my hand
glancing at my wrist
i cant do it
but i have too
so goodbye
cruel world
i must go

but whats this?
a light?
i am still in fear
the knife trembling
blood- no
tears
dripping off the blade

and i collapse
and die inside
because nobody cares
but i cant force myself to leave
just like those toxic friends
relationships
people
thats just what life is

but you have to keep going
going and going and going
until you find a true purpose
because harming
or killing
yourself
just stops you from recognizing the problem
just avoiding it

so to anyone who wants-
who needs
to hurt, or **** themselves
just face the problem head on
even if you cant do it
even if you have tried before
it's still worth it
this has been in my drafts for a little over 2 weeks now when my last depression scare happened. i hope this poem feels for anyone who is going through depression or suicidal thoughts. <3<3<3
78 · Nov 2024
elixir
Vesper Nov 2024
elixir in a bottle
so that i can remodel
all the holes in my brain
elixir in a needle
so that i may wheedle
my brain
into working
again
if you know you know
77 · Nov 2024
drink up
Vesper Nov 2024
pull out a chair
sit down my friend
pour a pint of whiskey
now drink up my friend!
drink all your sorrows away

how about a game?
just a couple dollars
pour a shot of *****
now drink up my friend!
drink all your sorrows away

home? why home?
stay here with us
we are your real friends
pour a glass of wine
now drink up my friend!
drink all your sorrows away

no more? how about one
just one more glass
just one more shot
just one more pint
just pour a flute of champagne
now drink up my friend!
drink all your sorrows away
77 · Jan 10
583
Vesper Jan 10
583
i spent so long
trying to find a way
but it only took me day
to find out that way was gone
77 · Dec 2024
Suicide
Vesper Dec 2024
Growing up, I wondered why anyone would commit suicide. Why would you want to leave this earth? Why would you give up your beautiful life?
When I got a little over, I got scared of death. That made me appreciate life even more. Why would you want to **** yourself?
But getting a little older, I understand. I understand the reasons, I know why you need a break. But life is better than that.
Even if you feel the void of life
******* you in, calling you
And all you want to do is give up
Fall down into a ravine
Cut yourself into a river of blood
Cry until the ocean rises
Die
Everything is better
than Suicide.
<3
75 · Nov 2024
coins
Vesper Nov 2024
shiny money
shiny brain
you get some
you lose some
its all just coins

money
is a funny thing
because when you have it
you love it
and then it's just a figment of your brain
its all just coins

but when you dont have it
you yearn for it
you want it
you need it
its all just coins

so i sit
with no money
i dont need any money- coins
but i cry
and cry
because i have no coins at all
75 · Nov 2024
back again
Vesper Nov 2024
back again
so soon
you ran away
you came back
did he not give you the gifts?
did he not give you the love?
but still
my arms are open
come inside
again
74 · Jan 18
Wishing
Vesper Jan 18
Wishing the voices would stop
Wishing the matrix to stop calling
Wishing to die-
But then come back
And do it all again
74 · Dec 2024
Afghanistan 1921
Vesper Dec 2024
the british
conquered
took it all
but then were beaten
and no rule at all

they became independent
as all people should
but they had fallen
behind the rest

and so the leader
of them all
declared his plan
for a reform
of the country
the beautiful country

afghanistan
school project!!
73 · Jan 18
Snake-Like
Vesper Jan 18
You've got fangs
That sink into the skins of men
Poisoning them and thinking they really are someone
You've got scales
Slimy and Rigid
Ugly and Disgusting
You've got yellow eyes
Piercing gaze
Striking fear into the hearts of men
You're snake-like
You belong in a cage
To be laughed at
To be made faces at
YOU ARE A SNAKE
73 · Dec 2024
Rainfall
Vesper Dec 2024
At times
It feels like the world is ending.
But when the rain falls
You love more than before.

Rainfall out the window
Pit-Pat Pit-Pat
Wind rustling through the trees.
I feel a breath on my neck
Your love
Because you love more than before

Rainfall.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
72 · Nov 2024
777
Vesper Nov 2024
777
just a dollar
and you can play
deposit a coin
and be on your way
gamble your life away
71 · Jan 16
712
Vesper Jan 16
712
What if you died instead
What if you cried instead
What if I was the one who lied
What if my wounds dried
What if you didn't have black eyes
I wish I hadn't said so many 'whys'
Now it's your turn to say the final 'goodbye'
71 · Nov 2024
acid
Vesper Nov 2024
dont drop the vial
just drop the vile
70 · Nov 2024
i'm not
Vesper Nov 2024
i'm not lazy
i play sports
i do things
i promise you
i'm not lazy

i'm not stupid
i have good grades
i study my subjects
i promise you
i'm not stupid

i'm not a freak
i don't know why
but i promise you
i'm not a freak

i'm not insane
i'm not insane
i promise you
i'm not insane
70 · Nov 2024
i hope you
Vesper Nov 2024
I thought you cared
About the gifts
I so lovingly crafted and bought
Only for them to be thrown out
Trashed

I thought you cared
About the compliments
As I gave you them
Never stopping the flow
No matter what you did

I thought you cared
About the weekends
We spent
Hand in hand
Before the morning sun

I thought you cared
About me
But it was all fake
All those days
All those words
All those gifts
Were they a joke to you?
I guess ill never know
70 · Jan 6
IM BACCCKCKCKC
Vesper Jan 6
I couldnt wait more that like two weeks to write poetry again sooooooooooo
Here i am

(:
68 · Nov 2024
life of me
Vesper Nov 2024
!! DISCLAIMER !!
I am not trying to be sexist, homophobic, or racist through this poem. This poem might come off as offensive, or something else, but it is not intended to be this way. I am just sharing my feelings through poetry, and even I was scared to post my own true feelings through poetry. If this poem needs to be taken down, I will do so. If that happens, I will probably post my poetry elsewhere or keep it to myself. Thanks!
!! DISCLAIMER !!

This world we live in
Is confusing to say the least
Why have we changed so much?
Why don’t we stay the same?

Sometime last week
I was shouted at
By a girl
Saying I would never understand her pain
Saying that I
A straight white male
Was so fortunate
And I was offended
But in some ways
It is true

I understand
That my kin
Did unspeakable
Disgusting
Horrible
Things to you
And I know that some of them still happen today
But why is it my fault?
What did I do to you?

You say I have privilege
But what privilege do I have
When must I creep on every word I say?
Every action I take?
Every poem I write?

But before I go on
I want to give sorry
A sorry that my ancestors never could
Even if It doesn’t mean a lot
I still hope it helps

I feel like a circus
I have to entertain the crowd
One wrong move
And I get boos
Too showy off?
And I get boos
So I learn to keep up my guard
Never let my feelings out
Never let my true thoughts go

And to the girl last week
Who shouted at me
Just remember
If the world is against you
It is most definitely
Against me
please dont flag me
68 · Dec 2024
Negative
Vesper Dec 2024
My father tells me to be less negative.

'Just think about the positives,'
He says

But Dad,
How can I focus on the positives,

If there is none?

Negative.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><<><><><><><><>><><><><><><><><><><><><>
68 · Jan 21
Believe in something
Vesper Jan 21
I have always wondered where we all came from.
Where we all were, before the big bang.
Such a slim chance, that we're all here today.
So here I think
I don't believe in god-
No-
I believe in something
67 · Feb 2
Untitled
Vesper Feb 2
the tears fallen create pools and lakes
shimmering blue in the new day sun
dripping from my face like rain droplets
flowing from clouds of fluff
no, i dont think this life is for me
67 · Nov 2024
food & weight
Vesper Nov 2024
in the silence, shadows loom, i grapple with my private doom. food, my solace, my despair, calls to me from everywhere.

each morsel, a fleeting balm, in the chaos, a moment's calm. yet beneath the comfort, a plea, a desire to finally be free.

mirror, mirror, reflecting pain, a story written, etched in shame. i seek release, a lighter frame, but all i find is more of the same.

craving’s hold, so tight, so deep, in the lonely hours, i weep. to resist, to rise above, to find strength where there’s none.

each bite a secret, buried low, a struggle only i know. wishing for control, for peace, for this torment to finally cease.

for in this cycle, i find my plight, day turns to night, and night to day. yet somewhere, hope feels far away, a distant dream, fading gray.
67 · Dec 2024
sickening
Vesper Dec 2024
so fat
so ugly
he'll never get a girlfriend
you're the size of europe!
i hate you
nobody is ever going to love you
nerd
obviously a 1/10
he buys mcdonalds every day!
god you're sickening
you're all so ******* sickening

why are you all so mean
what the **** did i do
and you get mad?
and tell?
and tattle?
when i spread a little truth about you?
well hey mello
just because you're a small little crying boy
dosent mean i am
so get the **** over it
"he said a mean word!!"
*******

well that was mean
but i dont feel bad
because god you're sickening
you're all so ******* sickening
angy poem
66 · Dec 2024
Afghanistan 1926
Vesper Dec 2024
he betrayed them
and declared himself king
king of the nation
king of them all
all they hoped
is to not fall

he tried to take
and make the country modern
but nobody agreed
he tried to limit the power
of the national council
but nobody agreed

and they took up arms
so they could fight back
but then he fled
a coward

afghanistan
school project!!
66 · Jan 20
Untitled
Vesper Jan 20
Who are we?
We are children of god!
He created us all!
The people with religions have answers
So why don't I?

Who are we?
We are the spirits of the earth!
Treat the world like you would treat your wife!
The environmentalists have answers
So why don't I?

Mabye
We're just
People?
64 · Jan 18
472
Vesper Jan 18
472
There are times in stories
Where you think the story aught to end
But it don't
Sometimes I can relate that to poetry
Where the poem should end
Sound better that way
But I don't
Stop
Writing
63 · Dec 2024
Afghanistan 1988
Vesper Dec 2024
osama bin laden
it is the beginning
of the end
al-Qaida  
they killed
the men
the women
the children
and we watched
and let them be

they claimed victory
against the soviets
it was their first win
but sadly
it wasn't their last

so they fought
and fought
and killed
and islam ruled again
but in a different way

afghanistan
62 · Nov 2024
hoodie
Vesper Nov 2024
my favorite hoodie
the biggest one
hide my body
and the pain all gone
62 · Dec 2024
Afghanistan 9/11
Vesper Dec 2024
four hijackers
four planes
four men
four craves for violence
to **** us all
all they wanted from us
was death
and violence

two twins
two twin towers
two twin brothers
two twin planes
horrible
horrible day

one man
one fight
one takeover
one crash
he was a hero
he saved them all
but he died
same as the rest

afghanistan
this is a tribute to 9/11. i salute all the people that died that day, and i am sorry to the families who lost. (my uncle was lost during the 9/11 attacks on the twin towers)
62 · Nov 2024
#@h$^&e*87'L75]"p\}
Vesper Nov 2024
this is a cry for help
i cannot control my fear
i cannot control the sickness
that loves me so dear
^$*{{}|)&##&{:>?"$
this is a cry for friends
people that care
people that really care
they are my dividends
they keep me sane
$&_+|{}:"?<!!#%&^%$
(:
this is a cry for someone
someone that feels like me
someone that feels me
someone that likes me
"@^&_+}{":>~!#$~~~$%^&
this is a cry for love
i need you
ill treat you like a dove
you can take the sadness out of me
and ill be back again
^&
#:"}||}:"><?^%$^#%$%^&<>~~#$%^&^%&$%
sigmaa
61 · Dec 2024
Sadness I
Vesper Dec 2024
in the shadowed corners of my heart
where echoes of laughter have long departed
there lies a sorrow
deep and vast
ocean of tears
memories of the past
i'm going to write one of these everyday for 10 days idk
60 · Dec 2024
One Last Dance
Vesper Dec 2024
Dance for the children and dance for the men, dance for the ones who gave their life to save us.
Dance for all the children in pain, with nobody to help them, alone and scared.
Dance for all the people, on the streets, nobody to help them, alone and *****.
Keep dancing, never stop. Never stop.
<3
56 · Dec 2024
Sadness II
Vesper Dec 2024
whispers of twilight
silent and cold
telling tales of days
of love once bold
each passing moment
an endless ache
a heart once whole
now left to break
part 2/12
55 · Nov 2024
crazy men II
Vesper Nov 2024
the crazy men
they came again
but this night
it was different
the crazy men
they came again
but tonight
i wasn't free
my dreamsss
54 · Jan 25
Untitled
Vesper Jan 25
I don't know the path to take
I don't know the people to trust
For they all seem amazing
But under all that ****
They're all just Ghosts

They leave me when I most need it
I should have seen right through them
I don't know how I didn't see
The Ghosts

Even when I t'was younger
I never could have been more fonder
Of the Ghosts

Growing up I should have seen
The Ghosts
singing poems ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
54 · Jan 9
Shoot.
Vesper Jan 9
Cold metal pressed against sweat.
Tears wetting my damp clothes.
Pitter-patter of rain against the ground as children sleep.
I cry for help, but no-one answers.
Shoot. Why can't I shoot.
Pitter-patter. More rain.
Damp shirt. More tears.
Why can't I end it all?
Every single night I scream.
It's so much easier this way.
SHOOT. WHY CAN'T I SHOOT.
I hear children laughing, and mothers loving,
I hear men working through the night, ready to go back to their families.
SHOOT. WHY CAN'T I SHOOT.
I hear a crack, and it all goes black.
54 · Nov 2024
escape
Vesper Nov 2024
take a spoon
take a knife
the guard can not be looking
lights go out
start to scrape
and out the hole you go

the alarms start to ring
lockdown
it sings
but into the boat you go
and out the prison you go
53 · Jan 16
Ups and Downs
Vesper Jan 16
Sometimes
We feel like falling down
Feel like screaming
Like crying
Like giving up

What's the point of life?
If it was all ups?
And no downs?

I bet it would be boring
I bet it would be sad
If there is no challenges in life
How are you supposed to grow?

That's the truth
We wouldn't grow
Become spoiled
Wanting more
What a sad life it would be
Without the Ups and Downs
53 · Nov 2024
butterfly
Vesper Nov 2024
fly away
fly away with me
don't need the crazy men
i can just me be
with those wings
those butterfly wings
oooh butterfly
52 · Jan 18
Nothing
Vesper Jan 18
Please let me go
I want to see my family
My friends
My people
But I know as soon as I leave
I'll go back to my room
And cry again

Why can't I ******* do this
I know I can
I know I can
But I never do it

My father tells me
That the answer is to
"Just do it"
But I want an easier way
I don't understand
Why they never
Understand

Maybe I'm the problem
The one who doesn't understand
The one who never cared
About other peoples feelings
I've been called a sociopath
A *******
But I don't think I am
Am I?

I don't want to be nothing
I don't want to leave
Maybe it's better
If the masochistic sociopathic depressed sad angry nobody leaves.
52 · Nov 2024
untitled
Vesper Nov 2024
today
my mother
asked me to try on a shirt
and i said sure
so she said
"take your shirt off"
and i stopped
"will you leave?"
i asked politely, hoping she wouldn't suspect
she bobbed her head
side to side
the universal sign
NO

she saw the red scars on my stomach
the scratches i cut
deep
but not in my skin
she made them deeper
she pretended like they weren't there
but they were
blood red scars
killing me slowly

and i'm shaking
shaking because i dont want to be a ******
i swear mom
i'm not
just help me
please
47 · Dec 2024
O' Brother
Vesper Dec 2024
O' Brother
Let me save you from the darkness
Let me save you from the light
Let me save you from the pills
That make you feel alright

Just come along with me
Away from all the people
Away from all the feelings
Away from all the pain

O' Brother
Who caused you this pain
Who caused you this worship
How did all the bad things
Fall back on you

O' Brother
Don't succumb
Don't take the leap
Don't take the pills
Don't load the gun

Just come along with me
And all will be okay
Please believe me
And we'll be at peace

O' Brother
Your funeral was quiet
I wish I knew how bad it was
Why couldn't you tell me
Why didn't you tell me

O' Brother
I'll see you in a flash
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
46 · Dec 2024
whispers
Vesper Dec 2024
whispers in the halls
whispers through the walls
they all hate me
and i hate them back

i wish sometimes
that i was them
making a sad boy feel sadder
and sadder
              and sadder
                             and sadder
                                                 until finally
                                                                  he died inside

so if i could say one thing
of most importance
you need to listen.
listen close, my dear
because
             you
                   want
                           to hear this.










*******.
45 · Nov 2024
i wish
Vesper Nov 2024
i wish
my poems were better
people would read them
and think
"what a good poet!"

i wish
that i was better
the best that i could be

i wish
i was cooler
my shoes
my clothes
my hair

i wish
that i was athletic
good at everything

but most of all
i wish
that she loved me
like i loved her

i wish
she didnt say no
and instead
said yes

i wish
i wasnt jealous of her
and the boys she liked

i wish
i wasnt sad
i wish
i wasnt sad

why am i sad
why am i sad
why am i sad

please love me
32 · 5d
euphoria
Vesper 5d
cutting
      scratching
                     deeper

euphoria
takes my body by surprise
i cant stop it
do i want to?

i have to
    before
          it
            takes
                  me
                       more

— The End —