Holy Christ how
the hell could we
for so long
leave out
of this gesture
the Mother
how
on earth
could we think
this would work

You feel like okay my fingers itch twitch like it needs to be written needs to, ah like, squeeze it all out and in between it feels tremendously like
***
And what if
No kid this time no what ifs
This time just running if you feel like it
This time
Just hum like a humming bird not like
A wrecking ball caught between two schedules
You now
Have full control
Of your body parts baby
No dealing with outer fury and
Guilt in order to make them shift
You have
Grown a whole
Incredible lot
Like a mountain on the move
And dealt with
Water whirling in the
Scariest form
No one now
Dare
Touching
Your untouchable parts and if so
Become
A tiger and roar like what not
Roar your guts out have them spill
In front of everyone right on
The coffee table
Does no harm to
Shake 'em up a bit
Once in a while-
Oh what
A lightened smile this casts
Upon your face
What a
Feast of learning
Celebrate
Yourself
My dear
Remember
It is
Chaos
It
Is
Always
Here
For you

Do you know how to
make the current rush
from your heart to your
toe and through
til your fingertips

Do you know how the world
likes to play with you

Do you know
all you thought
could be true,
Love

[...] The silence here is so pure that even the dripping of the stalactites cannot interrupt it or rather, it does not disturb it. The cave is space, it is wide and indescribably dark. The water in it has a certain tension; it is quiet but tense like an animal ready to jump at the lion’s roar and run for its life out of instinct. The water has memory and knows how to be, how to remain and evolve. It is here in this stone-cold silence without imagining ever not to be here, or not to be at all.

And why not value
your writing just as much as you would value
your body
an orange
a cement vase
a jar of honey or
a metal instrument
why not
bend
reality
to your own needs
and wishes
this time
why not
rhyme
your world into
a state of
being

Popping up
on walls
in dreams
on flowers' thorns
to make
the fire
tangible

The illusion
of safety
now bursts
and makes room
first
for the fear
and next
for real safety

It's not any
outside force that decides
does the spin top drop
or not
it's YOU
Babe,
all along has been

Full of water
now
what formerly consisted
of separate compartments
has merged and
is connected by
the soft flood
that has forced
the cells to
recognise their oneness

My Soul's
A puppy dog
And wants
To play -
Bumps into
Thick
Grey
Walls
If you don't
Want to

Stretch
your arms and
fingertips
my Love
and let your Soul
sink and soak
your body and spill
over so they see
who you are

Not distant
but strangely intimate
and familiar

Kind words
a fire that visits
and surprises me then

Something from higher
spaces and yet
down-to-earth

At last I have learnt and
am learning
to fully admire
your workings

What a
Sick thing climbing
Up and out
Never to return again cause it's
Enough already
It’s
So much enough now that
I almost shove it out
Cupping my hands together thinking
Off off outtt
And howl
Like a wolf but fiercer
Teeth more
gritted and
Gripping what seeps out of my intestines pushing
It like no now is
not the time
Not the time for
Minor fuss
It’s time for
Big things
Major changes
And I am sick of
Waiting

Imagine a kid
falling and hitting
her knee
and disguising
her pain-

From here I stand
and stretch
my arms

hold out my hand
and note:

no words express
how utterly connected
your gentle touch
has made me feel
how real you are
to me

and how
insanely beautiful

Such a
Wide gaze
Feels hard
To bear
At times and I am
Still in the process
Of figuring out
Why

I sit with my coffee and think
you can handle it
sit and see
the little things like
people are much more
available now
greet each other
see single mothers
maybe
through a respecting lens
let not slide through their hands every
opportunity for real contact
Appreciate
the helping offers
of their friends
and-

in-between-

complain
but thats a habit

I put my coffee down and start
to smile
and feel a warmth
re-spreading

as people slowly
lose their fear
of touching

See a white rabbit climb
out of its hole
again
and squinting in
the sunlight

Why should we not
Like every night in the moon every day in the sun rising
Trust
In ourselves
In our own connectedness to
Our rise and fall and
Wavy nature

Why should we rather
Keep aligning ourselves
With dusty trophies
Dusty memories
On our shelves
To stay secure

Why should we not
Aspire
To burn all dust and rubble
And then with courage
With this fire start
New lives

You bravely
Appeared to
Soak up all the
Darkness
That I couldn't hold

Now I would really like to
Meet you
Fully
To greet and thank
And then free you

We'll grow into
where we
already were-
this time
with all our parts
and with our hearts
wide open