Wake up in the morning 
Ready, I get. 
Beautiful I look.
Set, I go. 
Thinking to myself is it love or a business deal...

I look at him with eyes that are scared to blink. 
Kiss on the cheek, he gives. 
Fake smile he throws.
Floating words he utters. 
Fucken lies he tells. 
Thinking to myself is it a business deal or love...

Plumpy I look, 
Lovely I speak. 
But scared is my heart 
And lost am I. 
Thinking to myself is it love or a business deal...

Rich, is he.
Poor am I. 
Painted he looks,
Crooked is his smile. 
Money he throws,
Money I catch. 
Diamonds he gives,
Crystal I wear.
Dull is the mood 
And Gloomy are we. 
Closed is his heart, 
Beating fast is mine. 
Thinking to myself is it a business deal or love...

In his house we arrive 
The main door closes. 
Romes around the house
Curtains he rolls down
Dim are the lights. 
In his room we go
Carefully he lays me down
Slowly he kisses me 
Gently he touches me...
Softly he taps my *****
Turned on is he
Rough he throws me 
Hard he ***** me.
Thinking to myself is it love or a business deal...

Satisfied is he !!
Horrible I feel!!
Shallow I look!!
Shaking are my legs and cold are my thighs. 
Disgusted I look!!
Sick I feel!! 
Ashamed am I. 
Glowing is he, 
Truly he smiles. 
HE HAS DONE HIS BUSINESS!!!
Cold is my heart,
Lovely he speaks. 
Shut is my mouth. 
Warm is the mood. 
HE HAS DONE HIS BUSINESS!!!
Thinking to myself was it a business deal or love...

Resentful am I towards a man,
Afraid is my heart to love, 
Dubious am I to trust. 
Depressed am I behind closed doors, 
Ugly is my reflection in the mirror.
Death is what I want to achieve, 
Suicide I attempt
Knowing it was a business deal
Fake love he perceived.
Torn apart am I,
Broken is my heart...
HE HAS DONE HIS BUSINESS...

What have they done to you?
What have they done to your hair? 
What have they done to your skin?
What have they done to you?

Beautiful little girl
With soft and natural hair, 
But then you saw them 
And ended up with hair made up of plastic. 
Hair made up of sacrifice .
Hair that labels your expenses .
Hair that has changed you!!

Lovely smile you used to rock 
But then you saw them 
And ended up with mud on your face,
Blush on your cheeks,
Paint on your lips
And crayons on your eyes.
Your face has become a work of clowns.

Miraculously your skin turned into light
Because you wanted to be seen as light as them in pictures. 
Your weight dropped 
Because you wanted to be thin as them in poses. 
Your name changed from Buhle to Beauty 
Because it was easier for them to pronounce. 
What have they done to your identity ??

You visit malls to search for the perfect dress
But why not shop for a bag full of
Personal identity
Joy
Self-esteem
Inner beauty
Self-love 
Confidence??

You chose to look like them 
Than to be you!
You chose pretty 
Instead of BEAUTIFUL...
You chose to be trapped 
Than to be liberated. 
You chose to be them 
Instead of being you!!!
 
BEAUTIFUL is to lift your chin up
With love, joy and uniqueness. 
Pretty is to be THEM.
If I were you I would choose to be beautifully smart 
Beautifully lovely 
Beautifully confident
Beautifully unique. 
I would choose to be BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!

I thought I was beautiful in your eyes,
Not only on the outside but the inside too. 
I thought my smile for you
Was the only smile you'd appreciate to see. 
I thought my heart 
Was the only heart warm enough to love you. 
I thought my touch 
Was the only touch you wanted to feel. 
I thought you'd help me bury my past, 
But instead you became part of my past. 
I thought my thoughts of you were bittersweet. 
But, no, they were stupid!!
I thought I'd never be able to say 
"We were never meant to be."
But my thoughts taught me 
That without you
My life is complete.  
Those were the thoughts of a wandering heart
That wanders no more.

It's pretty and precious when you speak and spit those words of yours that are meaningless. 
It's deep and thoughtful when you think you own the land that you were raised up on.
I think it's hilarious when shoes are compared to the price of bread. 
Is it me that sees material being more worthy than food?
Brazilian weaves become ends meal and yet no meal is eaten at the end of the day. 
Gold twisted to coins 
And yet POVERTY is still a lifestyle. 
The TRUTH being twisted into LIES. 
Fast money reaching it's greatest  peak
But in reality we know that slow money is more purer. 
Our hands are filled with BLOOD 
Our MINDS are locked in chains
Our wrists are slit with blades. 
We are blinded by our stories 
Covered by our problems 
Scared of the truth.
We'd rather face the darkness than being caught in the light. 
Because I heard that once you're caught in light 
You're a "GOODY-TWO-SHOES". 
We throw punchlines
But they bounce back 
With lines that form a REBOUND. 
Superficial, materialistic and cynical is what we define.
DREAMS burnt away 
As if in a crucible where metals are melted and purified. 
Our streets are blocked by ashes
Our senses are polluted with gas.
Yes, our MEN are filled with violence 
And yet our WOMEN appear to be resentful and bitter!
But have you forgotten that BITTER  was once SWEET
HATE was once LOVE
ENEMIES  were once FRIENDS?
It's more simple when we reflect our backs on the mirror 
'cause now it's not us that we face.
We running from the truth
Due to our fear of our roots. 
Remember that God didn't create a coward
Neither did he create a sinner. 
It's just the life that we face that trickles us down.
We pop bottles in funerals. 
We take shots on horses 'cause we want a hell of a ride. 
Our tongues twist what's true to false. 
We have become slaves of our sins
So in denial, lost, confused and BRUTALLY tampered with. 
We are set for LIBERATION, 
INKULULEKO
FREEDOM.  
We have misused our freedom. 
Yes , we don't appear to be SINNERS,
We are sinners!!
But I prefer to be a RIGHTEOUS  SINNER . . . .

I remember as a kid growing up in the presence of a lovely man. 
You see he was not just a man to me, he was a father. 
Each and every time I saw him my heart and eyes would glow. My ears would become red,
My cheeks would touch my ears
And I would rejoice. 
When it was time for him to leave
My eyes would become red,
My ears could hear the heart beat of a broken heart. 
But he would make it a point I smiled at the end of it all. 
"Barbie girl" he called me. 
You see this man lifted me up, 
He laughed with me
A day would not pass without him calling me. 
Whatever I needed came within a jiffy.
He would hurt inside if he saw tears in my eyes.
Not even a single soul was allowed to hurt me because they knew that my father had my back. 
This man was my lifetime partner 
He was my rock
He was best friend
He was my physical shield. 

Now that I'm grown with these curves
With the resemblance of my father. 
With his teeth that I smile with. 
With the pain that I have without him
With this confusion that keeps on tearing me apart. 
With a heart so hurt that it aches as if each and every part of it is being tampered with by a careless soul.
I never knew that a person can be dead and live at the same time.
I never knew I would spend days with no man being the reason behind my smile. 
I never knew that my father would let me be hurt by these beasts of the wild. 
Being jabbed by thorns of the red cave.
No longer do my cheeks reach my ears. 
A Five year old girl cries in me
The mirror shows the reflection of a five year old me.
But those days are gone
Tormented into pieces
Seeing a man screaming I love you as if that's fucken true. 
Touching and feeling what  you don't fucken appreciate. 
That's not the man my father was. 
He showed me how a man is supposed to treat a woman by loving me. 
He held my my hand and showed me brighter and braver days. 

I wish I could say hear him say " I love you Barbie girl, no matter what you go through daddy will always be there for you, daddy will always protect you. "
But gone are those days.