Remember when we were five?
our first kiss
God, we had no idea what we were doing then
it's kind of funny now

Remember when we were seven?
I had "cooties"
you never wanted to be around me
even though we were best friends

Remember when we were nine?
you had a huge crush on her
every guy did and who could blame them?
it's all they knew

Remember when we were eleven?
you held my hand
but it wasn't meant
I watched you kiss her
yet I never told anyone
I keep my head down now
I'd rather not be hurt like that again

Remember when you turned sixteen?
you had a girlfriend
you two were perfect, happy and smiling
but I guess you missed me
because you followed in my footsteps
and now you're dead
but Mom, I have one question
Do you remember what colour our eyes are?

I need a place
A place that could be called a ‘home’
A place that might be called ‘home’
A place that maybe i could go at night
‘Home’

It isn’t just another kiss
Or another whisper
Or another cut
No
It’s so much more than that
Yet it’s seen as something so imortal
You’d rather die than accept me?
Who have we become?

A home isn’t the place where I go beat over and over again,
Is it?
No!
They see me walking in the rain I’m soaking wet
They ask me “Would you like to stay here for a night? It’s cold and raining you shouldn’t be out there in that.”
I say “No thank you.”
But my mind screams “Yes! Please help me, I can’t do this on my own I need help”
But they have won

I keep walking
Smiling at the ground
But my mind is racing
Hoping that someone would care enough to actually save me
But with every step I take I’m alone
This isn’t a ‘home’

What is a home?
A place to be beaten and abused?
Over and over again until you can’t remember what happened the night before?
No. that’s not a home
But neither is this.
I can’t stay
I walk into a house full of screaming,
“Home” I say
I walk to the bathroom
Look into the mirror,
And scream “Who the ** have I become? Why the hell am I still here?”
I’m done fighting
No more
I grab his gun
And I’m gone
That was not a ‘home’