You told me you love me and I said I cant stay

You put your hand on my chest and told me it was okay

I told you to run and get away

Before you get to know me

Before you decide to play

The confusion of this delusion

Is causing a defusion of my sanity,

Why must you torment me with your calamity,

I’ve only taken trips to the lands of make believe,

You filled my head with lies of all I could have achieved,

You blinded my eyes with the strings you used to manipulate my heart,

And as you pulled you tore a pieces of me apart,

A smile on your face with lies on your lips,

You really thought I’d bend the knee whenever you shook your hips,

Like a rotting tooth I had force myself to remove knowing I’ll never recover from the pain,

I came back to reality not feeling the same,

I left too much of me in your fantasy,

All that’s left now is a shell of what used to be me

Keep cutting deeper, until you find my salvation. Cutter deeper still, until you cure my starvation, There’s no one left to confide, No one left to confess to all the horrors kept inside, Don’t stop, there’s no time for doubt, Please keep going, I need to get out, There’s no one to left, to pretend to care to my face, Long forgotten liars who watch this place, Waiting for my end so they can laugh and to shed fake tears, Where were they all these years? I won’t miss those miss those at all, I won’t miss anyone who watched me fall, The ones who claimed to be the ones who cared the most, But only when I was an entertaining host, So, cut me a little deeper until you find my salvation, I’ve lived long enough, I need a vacation

Verdant eyes as lush as any field

Azalea hued lips that can make even a king yield

Your voice a song in my ears that I’ll never forget the lyrics to

Lifting my soul towards the sky when it’s clearest blue

The best curves on your body belongs to your smile

I tried my best not to give in, living in my denial

Your gentle sweetness has pulled me in when I thought I could never allow myself to breathe

Your words have done what I never thought would be possible to achieve

To be the one that occupies your thoughts from the moment you wake, until you close your eyes and meet me in your nightly lullaby

Keeping you in my thoughts like a bird learning to fly

I’ll see you for who you are and not what you think

Keeping my distance as far as I can to not form a link

Knowing you deserve better than I could ever give

But close enough to know you for as long as I live

Making sure the regrets keep piling high

I’ll keep this secret to myself until the day that I die

You see a majesty in others where there is none

You gave up on your dreams before they've begun

Inspiration, in those of less worth, you plant that seed

But in yourself, you don't feel there's a need

You've let the thoughts and wills of them keep you down

Envious hearts refuse to see you among the clouds, so they tied you to the ground

Fear set in after watching how your wings expand

Find your way through the fingers of their ever clutching hand

Forget what they said you were before

Never look back, as you continue to soar

The gentle tones the escapes your caressive lips fill me with a calming serenity

How your laughter fills the emptiness that can last an eternity

To be able to hear your voice in person is what any man of worth would die for

Like a sailor slowly coming to terms with being ashore

The bliss too insurmountable to put into even the finest of words until the end of time

You make even the sun envious with how much you shine

Could it have been more than this

A jumble of lies and broken promises

Finding no comfort in each other's lives

Searing words used to cut our barely formed ties

Every secret shared, twisted and contorted to match the world created in your make believe land

False words spilled on the battlefield where you wanted to make your final stand

Your voice which was once a source for my delight

Now weaponized for your continued slights

Gone are the days I long to be where you are

We were never close, but still not too far

Years of regret cling to me like wet sand on a filthy beach

Wasted hours on someone who I could not  reach

Fatigue had finally set into my weary heart

I want you know how much I thrive now that we are apart

I don't care who you have become or what you do

I can live a healthier life without you

As I watch the grains of sand flow

I reminisce of days when things were slow

When children remained innocent until they were ready to grow up

How easily imagination flowed through our minds like emptying a cup

Opinions were shared and not used as a weapon to tear others down

Hearing people enjoy your days out in the sun without hearing siren sounds

To be able to look up  and see a group of clouds dance across the sunlit sky

Hear birds chirping away as they ate the left over seeds

Feel the wind violate your body with its gentle touch

These are the things I miss so much

The hourglass keeps its steady pace

This uninvited passenger has decided to stay

Inside of my mind, stripping all that was good forcing it to decay

It made a home where once I found happy solitude

Eating away at my jovial nature, replacing it with a darker mood

Each grain falls, feels like an eternity

Wanting to feel the end, because now, this is me

The green of your eyes are like a beautiful meadow waiting for winter's first frost

I can stare into them for hours, hoping to get lost

Wanting to never find my way back as long as they're all I could see, wondering how warm the curves of your smile would feel

Knowing  if I could experience it, how easily my soul could heal

From the exhaustion I'm in whenever I hear your voice

Like a siren's call, pulling me in, I have no choice

But to give in, to my favorite person I have yet to meet

Getting my love is no small feat

The dawn never starts, night never ends

Without you in my life, my heart never mends

The light of your eyes has faded from my memory, forever gone

I whisper your name in the dark, hoping for the calm

I await for you to shine before me once again

Wishing this long night will meet its end

Each night, my anticipation grows, As I lay silently for you to come

To feel your frigid touch and deceitful hum

Your flavorless breathe as it prances on my warm flesh

Lay on my awaiting chest, push yourself into me until we mesh

Feel my heart beat quicken as you begin your torment of teasing

My eyes remain shut as you work your way in, the agony you inflict as you do is quite pleasing

My lips, moisten by the thrill, open slightly for you

The storm gathers inside of me, ready for what next you will do

Pressed together, our lips form a seal

Before this exchange is done, you will reveal

How you’ve captured my curiosity deep in the recesses of my mind

Calling out to the darkest depravity, which I’m sure was not hard to find

Our contorting bodies merging into one

Anguish flows over me waiting for you to be done

Take what I never wished to be cursed with until now

Take it all, never leave them a clue as to how

My soul was eaten this night

As you leave my decaying corpse, you turn around before your shadowed flight

And reminisce our our shared embrace

An unfamiliar feeling overtakes you, as your heart begins to quicken its pace

Was it a mistake to remove me from my prison

What is this doubt that has arisen

Forcing its way to the forefront of your emotions

Pushing and clawing its way out, in a raucous commotion

A tear escapes, never to be seen again

You will be the only one to ever mourn my end

Time comes to an end whenever you look my way

I clutch my heart as it begins to stray

My chest tightens and my breathing stills

You've mesmerized me as my minds fills

With thoughts of how my life can begin and end

Into the madness I descend

Knowing that it was just a look

But for me it was all it took

I sit and wait for this vessel to  fill

To be molded and shaped with tender skill

To feel something other than the reminding pain

Of what was, what could have been, how it should be

No cares enough, as the walk on by and watch as I slowly drift into the emptiness to help me

It twists and turns and spouts a searing hot volcanic dark mass of unquenchable hate

Can someone stop in their journey of selfishness and fear, to be open to vulnerability to fill what is now opaque

No light enters, none escapes, the black hole grows larger still, destroy all that exists

Consuming all that I wish I could be, the person I was, the me that no one will miss

Surrounded by so many, yet always alone

This empty vessel has no home

Can someone spare some light and fill this vessel of mine

I want to know how it feels just once, to know how it feels to shine