I stopped looking for you in widows, on walls and pages.
My heart no longer feels the twinge of sickness it once made when I thought I saw you.
I don't obsessively think your name like when we were together, gasping whispers into the darkening night.
It isn't fair that an image of you is burned in my brain-  think of how
you ran your fingers down my spine, how you are holding hers, just
like you held mine.
I don't go to the spots we once went, I'm afraid of the thought "what if?"
I stopped hearing your voice, no longer saying pitcher for picture.... your laugh was once contagious.
But no one deserves this, I am too strong to let you cheat me of a love that I want to give.

I don't look for your face anymore- and to tell the truth, I'm not sure of how I would act if I saw you.

Deleting all evidence of your claim
                                          * atad*
                                          etep
               ­          * tnarraw
                        *tuarrem         ­                                Reflecting................
Like we learned in history class, but our history is-what history?
                      exactly.
And I never knew that people could be so life changing cruel.

I don't know you- but if I could I would hold  onto every moment like how you hold onto your pencil when you write.
There is something  in your words that create an ever repeating echo in my heart... oh I wish I knew you, I wish I knew.
You don't know me, but maybe you've read words that I've typed and they have washed upon your soul, on your mind.

I feel like I've glimpsed into some secrete hollow of your life.
As if stumbling onto your poem was meant to occur.. but I'll stay on the edge of my seat and only know you though my reads.

That's all that can happen- that's all that can be- for a poets mind, heart,
and soul are dark
                         and deep.

The sky lit up with a fiery blaze,
The sun fell beneath the earth, giving the skyline a tangerine colored haze.
All I could see now were shapes.
They looked blotched and disfigured, the shadows showed.
I looked in the mirror to see the same figure.
Disgusted I was, though I could not seem to look away.
I wanted to hide myself, throw a rock at the mirror.
Your beautiful red flower, its green stem that glowed.
Though it died, I know.
Yet still I wonder.
If the feeling is there.
My body to the red flower will never compare.

You

Lied

Cheated

Manipulated

Hated

Hurt

Disgusted

Disowned­

Lost

Envied

Stole

Love

Trashed

And

Bashed

You

Felt

For­

And

Fell

For

Her

Heart

Shattered

Confusion

Emotions

Run­ning

Wild

Killing

Faith

In

Others

Believing

No

Ones

Trut­h

Blood

Slides

In

Your

Mind

Tattoos

Stain

Your

Lips

Qui­ver

When

Her

Beautiful

Body

Walked

Out

Of

Sight

Out

Of
­
Mind

Late

Night

Walking

In

And

Out

Of

Mazes

And

Games
­
She

Played

Like

Days

Before

Your

Death

I

Confessed

My

­True

Love

For

You.

I think she saw it when she looked in your eyes.
The look of seduction, lust, baby she wasn't
surprised.
*** is what you wanted, the desire was evil.
It rained in her brain like
the night you and her became.
On of two, you can't go back.
Two of two, you don't want to
go back. It's like a drug- you
can't let her go. Her idea
of what is next decides if
she really wants you or if
you are just for show.
Show it is, how used can you be?
*** is what she wants. Remember when it was your desire? When you
"Loved" her. Now look at what
she has done. Tell me she
was worth it.
You wanted ***, you got
it now. I'll hold my applause
as you take a bow.
You're dead to her but she loves you right?

And for one second as I sat in the back of the car with my eyes closed
feeling the summer breeze against my face
everything was perfect, I didn't care
about a thing. I felt as if I were back when I was little
sitting in the car with just me, my dad,
and my brother, listening to Madonna singing about how DJ's should turn the record
on and what it feels like for a girl as the greenery passed
me by on the road trip to Kentucky.
I felt safe,
but this feeling wouldn't last long.
It would go away as my brother parked the car and
as we all walked into the house.
We would all go do our different things,
in different rooms and
forget about what we just did, we would forget
about each other,
and sooner or later a fight would start and end with no one winning.
As I lay in bed I hold onto that moment that the world was perfect,
and I didn't feel so alone.