He says he is intense,
Unaware of the storm inside me,
I continue to be patient,
One day this storm will unleash,
And burn everything around
Consume me and burn me too
Maybe that’ll be healing…

He gives me songs that I treat like poetry,
Little personal letters,
He then disappears for days,
Leaving me alone and to my ways,
I cope, I stare into the blank space,
And wait….

He comes and he goes,
Leaves me euphoric or in throws of lows.
A world between him and I
I carry within me a hole, filled with him and his smile,
His patience and his eyes.
And every moment spent with him
Knowing I gave it my best
When I am lonely, I look inside and find him and sigh
Where he is just mine without any noise
It brings me peace and acceptance alike.

Paris was intense
We fought as soon as we got in
We bickered and I gave in to thoughts and strayed
In my mind he had me and I had him
And zoned out and honed in
The beauty of Paris was lost to me
The beauty of my thoughts took its place
I closed my eyes to feel
Before vangogh & Rothko
I thought in every dark corner and alley
I’d like that love
The passion, let me burn,
Unlearn and learn
To feel again
The intensity, the pain, the joy
I knew what I felt was an idea of it, still…
I determined to return with what I had in my mind
With him again and leave it all behind
To relive it all again
To feel it all again
To make it all real
To feel his intensity and maybe feel the euphoria
And to see the beauty of Paris over again

You think you are intense,
I carry poetry inside of me,
The endless depth of rapture, of feeling, of wonder and despair,
The unseen face before which nothing could stand,
The unseen place where you can lose yourself with nothing to spare,
I show the world the fair side,
Inside me is a storm,
That can burn things, heal things, unleash things that the world has never seen,
I can take you to places you have never been,
I let go of this,
Cause I’d rather be this beautiful mess,
I’d rather be a lone storm,
I’d rather hold on to it than let it go,
Consistency is safety,
Which you cannot give....
I get that....
But it’s amiss....
I’d rather hold forth alone,
That the glimmer of hope,
I’d rather make myself home....
Than depend on you,
But hope....

The distance between what if and even if
I read something profound,
"What if?" is fear,
"Even if.." is faith,
The faith and trust you feel when you have yourself,
The faith built on everything you have built, and your own foundation,
The faith that cannot be shaken and is your center,
Believe in yourself and don’t fear anything at all,
Cause you are enough to change the world,
Leave the fear behind,
Those that cannot come along will fall,
Or not, they will stand tall on what is their will ,
You need to move forward without fear and never still,
Flow like the water, rage like it too,
Use the water to make way for you,
Make yourself the center of your own core,
Cause you are enough to change the world.

The juxtaposition of danger and safety,
The excitement you feel with the haste,
You hold back,
You move forward,
Cause it’s a straight line,
It isn’t gray, although it may seem,
It is black and white,
To fulfil your desires, to bring happiness,
To bring magic, to bring a wholeness to your life,
You want more, you want depth, you need to connect, to get to the bottom of it,
There is plenty to say, plenty to examine,
Plenty in the depths of your soul,
You give in…
You seek the pleasure you cannot ignore…
You disconnect to connect with yourself, cause you always want to be on a path to explore,
You don’t want to be held back, you need to seek and find out what runs deep,
Danger and safety are two sides of a coin and you realise you are water that cannot bind,
You need to flow,
You don’t need the ground below or a ceiling to hold you back,
You were born to be free,
And not live and slip through the cracks