i forgot to tell you earlier that
i've dreamt about you every night
this week, and this morning when i
woke up i thought it was winter,
but i was warm anyway.

Unrequited love.

even the name is depressing

love that's given but not returned

what's so ******* special about you that

you've turned my insides outside?

everything. everything about you is special

maybe you're doing me a favor

until i can wake up each morning and not have you

etched in my brain,

i will continue to weep silently and sew the gaping hole

in my heart

stitch by painstaking stich

stone faced, sand blasted,
cemented
and half-assed,
sleeping soundly
like Pompeii
dreamless,
uninspired,
uncorrupted,
unavailable for comment.


You see, there are bones
inside of me.
Bones embracing each other,
in tired poses
laying in the dirt,
uncovered by the studious,
                                   curious,
                                   fastidious, and
                                  woefully unlucky.

Good luck cataloging your finds.
I wouldn't buy it.

meanwhile,
i am petrified
in perfect fashion
filling my space
filing my cells
and ever.  so.   ****.    slowly.
i am whole again,
rock hard abs
and chiseled jaw
Adonis
in slate stone
with chipping lungs
stand **** for the world
in demonstration of man
"This is what I was,"
     i will say,
"Proud never to change."
pigeon **** on my shoulder
and no one knows what color my eyes were

I think I found God somewhere in between your lips and mine. At one point when our mouths connected I poured my entire being in to you and you exhaled in a way that said ''I accept you.'' I looked at your face through the cigarette smoke and I knew then that you are all I need. You do not realise what you do to me. The simple act of your fingertips against my spine makes me shiver endlessly. You hold me close and your lips are on my neck and I tremble and I can't stop. I fall apart in front of you. In that moment I am yours to pull apart and destroy but you don't; you look at me and your eyes embrace me and you let me in and I bury my face in your neck as a silent thank you. You make me feel more than I've ever felt in my life; sometimes I want to cry because my heart feels like it's forcing its way out of my chest to be consumed by you. When you're not here I feel non-existant. I think I have been dead for 17 years and that first kiss brought me to life in ways I didn't think possible. Your voice in my ears is like music composed just for me. You give me so much simply by touching me. The world is swallowing me whole but the moment I am in your arms I'm no longer part of this world. I am in the heaven that is your embrace, a safe haven where I don't feel like my mind is screaming. My mind is quiet when I am with you. My mind is quiet and my heart is loud.

i had almost forgotten
what it felt like
to not want to die

so if i cannot thank you for anything else
at least let me thank you
for that.

I am the seed
Breathed from the lips
of an unknown read.

I am the rain
Come from a lock
of an unquenchable shame.

I am the true reach
for the last
Blistering leech
I am the word
of which your tongue
will never taste.

Do not put me
to waste.


Bite me…
Breathe me…
FEEL
MY BLOOD

Let it heat you.
Let it breath you.

Until your Flame      becomes a flood.

&on; the count of three, we laid out our flaws and
they mirrored each other perfectly-
when i tried to take mine back
i gathered some of yours (and it was
an accident, i swear, but i don't mind
carrying them for you)

i know how heavy you must feel

instead of picking flowers for you
i'll take you where they grow,
together we can watch them die
when heat gives way to snow

(i just want to be with you
as seasons come and go)