Well I despise myself for not being able to hate,
Someone played a really hard game with me and I guess it was fate,
But I decided that I wont give up my mate.
It has been a couple of months since that date.
Now I have finally lost all hope,
Earlier my intentions were as bold as that of pope.
I am just stuck in the game of life ,
I just want a deep pool to dive.
I used to be a person who used to strive,
Real hard till I achieved ,
What I aspired ,
Now I am as angry as a boss who has just blurted out the word 'fired'.
All life is doing to me is to make me more and more tired.
Someone just told me that it is a phase,
Which everyone has faced.
How do I tell that someone?
That she's the one,
Whom I lost in the battle of love,
I thought maybe she was my dove.
She has occupied my thoughts,
Like a lamp gets covered by moths.
I can never tell all of this to her face,
Because of that beautiful gaze.
Now it's the season of love and haze,
But she's not willing to fall for me,
And this is what hurts my knee.
It's still stagnant, I'm still stuck,
Maybe it's not just in my luck.

I often wonder,
What kind of wonder you turned my messy life into.
I am so into you.
In this atmosphere of frost and dew,
I got a person to fall in love with.
Earlier I thought all of this was myth.
My anxiety makes me fear,
What would I do without you?
My life would again get back to first gear.
I wish I could just stop you here with me for a few.
Whom would I ask random question?
About weird things, sometimes logical sometimes out of fashion.
Thought of your absence,
Just makes me lose my essence.
I fear not being able to share !
I feel this would not be fair!
I fear missing you even when I am with my friends .
Cause I miss holding your hands,
I know we never actually did-
But in my dreams we bid, we bid.
I fear living in past,
Although It was never really vast
But moments with you passed by really fast.
By the phrase "I fear",
I recall something my dear
I remember how I used to fear things-
That now I just live with.
I feared falling in love,
I did and I am kind of happy with my dove.
I feared not getting loved back ,
I didn't, still it fells like a home eventhough it's a shack.
I feared being someone's second priority,
I am, I still dont want someone 's pity.
I feared that what if my messages are just left on seen,
I believe that was my insecurity and just some random thought of a teen.
I am a human and so I fear,
Sometimes even things, useless and mere;
Maybe because I care,

Or simply cause I fear...

Because of all this, I did grow.
I got out of my safe burrow .
I gotta know how this selfish world works
And how people fool you by their easy typical lurks.
I am not saying that this is how it's always done,
But there are only a few not none,
Who love you even in their thoughts,
Their love is like a line, continuous dots.
I have seen some heartbroken at the bar having non stop shots.
And some just lost in crowd of a thousand people and a lots.



Things change, situations too,
People too, most but few,
Remain the same ,
Constantly lame,
They often say sorry,
Sometimes even disrespecting their glory
But then it's always fine.
Till the time they respect their relationship even if it is for sake of a dime.
I did learn,
But I couldn't turn,
To my way back home.
From love's doomed dome,
Love is indeed a beautiful feeling,
When not reciprocated it starts killing.
Deep inside I keep yelling,
Not at others but at myself.
The devil inside rings the bell and I hear a knell.

Ever fallen for someone's soul?
Gaining their love became your only goal.
In the process,
You crossed all crosses.
And then one sudden day
You thought while you lay
That you have just lost
And it did cost
More than you could have imagined.
You were once a sparkling diamond
And now just a stone,
Writing all of this on your phone.
You are a loser
And you were once a chooser.
While thinking what went wrong?
I couldn't think beyond
Cause all my mind knows now is how to write a song.
And I just realised
That I can't and I won't give up.
There's always a scope of more to doth
But I won't chase
Cause I am not patient enough to wait for a thousand days.
I'll work through the policy of let go
And I have now realized that this is not my show.
I'll not feel low,
I'll not think of this anymore,
Not even when I lay near the seashore.
I know that there is more, that there is more...